I don't think I have mental illness but nobody listens to me

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It's extremely frustrating. I have to take meds twice a day. I've even been asked if an injection would work better. I don't need an Injection. I take them now so I can avoid that. I know if I ever move out, I'm quitting them. People think that's an awful idea and that I'm gonna have a breakdown if I do that. That feels insulting. Like everyone thinks I'm crying wolf. Im tired of being ignored or told to calm down. People laugh at me.

Also I'm researching it and I'm starting to realize I might actually have a bit of intuition. It's not grandiose. Like I'll think of something profound that is really helpful to my current situation and then I forget it. I was shutdown immediately. Apparently that's not possible. Also it's just so annoying when they won't agree to disagree. Like they have to be right. Being diagnosed with a mental illness has really made it worse because now nobody takes me seriously or they talk down to me. Im called immature, loopy, unreasonable, and a maniac. They laugh at me sometimes. Sometimes I don't sleep because I nap a lot and I wander around the house. Also sometimes I do it because I drink coffee so I can be alert because I'm too scared to sleep.

People get so angry when I can't sleep. It's because I'm scared to sleep. Like I'm tired but I'm on edge. I feel like my house is being cased because I found red paint in the keyhole, weird scratches on the door, my dog growls at odd times, and there's weird vehicle activity in the neighbourhood. When I voice my concerns I'm told to take my medication. I get angry because I feel invalidated. They say that people would find it creepy that I am so vigilant.

I don't understand how they are so unaware of their surroundings, they've told me to quit checking everything around the house because it's unnerving. I do it in secret now because If I don't I get extremely anxious. It's so annoying that they always have to be right. Like they've tried to do interventions on me because it's concerning to them and I pretend to go along just so they leave me alone. I just feel like they have this thing where they enjoy seeing me angry. They deny it though. I feel so frustrated but I'm never gonna win. Also my mom keeps threatening to send me to the psych ward. I don't like that idea because I wouldn't need to go there.

Everyday I see people who are actually mentally ill and I feel bad for wasting professional's time. They're getting annoyed with me because I act weird or something. I know I'm annoying to them. I Iaugh when I'm not supposed to just because I get uncomfortable with certain questions. I've even tried to tell them I don't need medication. They don't understand either. Apparently it's concerning that I don't do anything for fun anymore. It makes sense. It's because I have a learning disability that makes it hard to join in. I'd rather not struggle with simple things in front of people and be accused of not paying attention.

Also social interactions are difficult because I don't like being asked questions because I don't have a job. It's embarrassing to be 22 without a job. Also I admitted I heard voices sometimes because they asked me. It's really nothing because that's just my inner monologue. I have a very active inner monologue. I hate being told to be quiet when I'm talking to it. I read it's healthy to talk out loud to yourself as long as it's not negative. Sometimes it is negative though. also when I do hear it, it's nothing bad, just like a word here or there or a man talking about something that I can't fully hear. Also it feels good to talk out loud because it makes me feel like I'm listened to. But it's annoying when I voice a thought I didn't want to say out loud. I think I'm really misunderstood honestly. I don't know how to express it though. I've tried saying it like I did here but the only response I've gotten is that I'm not aware fully or that I need to take medication. Im feeling lost.

Well I think it's hard to prove you're not something once you've been professionally diagnosed with something.

The only reason people on WP tell you to keep taking your meds is because we're not qualified to tell you otherwise. Plus even if you aren't mentally ill and you've been taking your meds for a long time it can be dangerous to just stop taking them. I can't stop taking mine even though I know I probably don't need mine either.

What resources do you have available to you, if any? I obviously can do next to nothing to help you, BUT I CAN, and many other of us here CAN, listen to you/read what you send us. Please know that at the very least, here you have People who won't gaslight you about who you are.

I say this, because even though I am also perfectly capable to do a lot of things, the person who "cares" for me at the moment does not believe I do. It's maddening. So I feel I understand your particular situation fairly well, and hope I can help you at least explore your own options. After all, it's is glaringly clear we "NDs" only have each other in this crappy world.

Yes, pretty much only the doctor that made the diagnosis can remove it. But, after some period of time, the diagnosis gets kind of ignored. Usually when you go to a new doctor they just care about the diagnoses that were made in the last few years or if you qualify for a diagnosis as the symptoms are right now.

Occasionally, like with me pursuing a redo on my ASD evaluation results, they will care about past diagnoses, even if they decide that the diagnosis was probably wrong, it's helpful to have it. My psychologist seems to agree with me that I probably wasn't ever schizoaffective, but it's still important to know about the diagnosis to verify that it's not something I likely had versus something that was successfully treated and could potentially come back.

That being said unless there's a court order in place, or you're under the age of consent for medical care, nobody can force treatment. I'd just tell the doctor that I want the medications reduced and will be changing doctors if I need to. That should clarify the issue. And a slow reduction in the medications should reveal whether or not the medication is even appropriate anyways.

Your not gonna like this Crystal but I've experienced a bit of what your describing when I was suffering from a psychotic depression that started at 20. Psych meds helped hold me together & helped me relax a bit while I tried to work on myself in various ways like getting a job, doing things outside of work with people from work, posting about things online, & joining an offline support group for depression, anxiety, & bipolar disorder to name a few. About 10 years alter, I got in my current relationship & moved out of my parents & in with her & I got on a different combo of psych meds & have been doing pretty good these last 10 years. Perhaps you are not on the right combo of meds or the right dosages. My recommendation would be to try & take a proactive role with your treatment instead of secretly resisting. Tell your psychiatrist your concerns about side-effects like tiredness & the paranoia you've been experiencing. Trying different meds might make a big difference & you could try joining some kind of offline support group if that would be an available option & maybe start looking for a job when your doing a bit better which I know is alot easier said than done. I really wish you the best of luck.