Do not want to be "friends"

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What are some examples of times when you wanted to be someone's friend and they did not want to be your friend? What reason did they give you? How did they show you that they did not want to be friends?

What are some examples of times when someone wanted to be your friend and you did not want to be their friend? What did they do to make you not want to be friends?

Have you ever regretted not being someone's friend? Why?

They don't invite you to things. You invite them to things, but they can't make it for whatever reason and don't suggest an alternative. You express interest; they don't reciprocate.

People very rarely flat out say "I do not want to be your friend." It's unspoken. It's usually not hostile either, just disinterest.

I liken it to extending an olive branch. Most people don't want to take it.

I tried to be friends with both of my roommates but they were not interested.

Their hints
-They wouldn’t share their food with me
-They hinted that they were looking for someone to pay bills and do their share of chores
-One of my roommates was mean and obnoxious by letting me know
-They wouldn’t invite me to do things with them outside of our home.


Other examples-
1. They talk to me but don’t seem to make any effort to peruse things with me

Here are a few more

- They turned down my invitations
- They would never invite me to do things with them
- They would choose my other friends over me
- They compared me to other people
- They outright told me, "I don't want to be your friend."
- They usually avoid me
- They don't really volunteer information
- I do things that bother them

There was a guy at a place I worked who I got on well with. People would even comment on how well we got on. Anyway he was very fastidious about keeping his friendship circle separate from his work colleagues, he didn't want to know me outside of work.

A few years back I reconnected with a friend I'd had in school. We'd grown apart because he was very into drugs and I wasn't ready for that yet, I lost most of my school friends around 15-16 because I was still quite childish and annoying. Anyway we reconnected, he came to my house and told me a load of personal stuff and I felt really close to him again really quickly. Then he invited my family to come stay at his which we did. I don't know what happened, I thought our families had a nice time together but he's blanked me ever since.





Much like with romantic interest I think I often don't pick up on friendship interest. Or maybe no one wants to be my friend.


Yes, I tend to realise a long time after the event that people might have been showing friendship interest and then I regret that I didn't see it and I didn't respond appropriately.

My family relocated frequently when I was young, which meant changing schools. I think I learned to leave people behind when circumstances change and it's a habit I've carried into adulthood. I regret not making the effort to stay in touch with lots of people.

An example:

A childhood friend and I appeared to reconnect back in late 1999 after we fell out 2 and a half years prior. There hints in the beginning that she had lost her interest. For example, though we talked on the phone and had me sleep over, she talked on the phone to other people. She really didn't stop to take time to catch up with me. Instead, her guy friends were more important. The problem is that she didn't really understand why I had limited topics of conversation while she seemed to pick up on the whole teenager scene. For example, I talked about Disney movies and a teen idol all the time and she didn't like that. She also thought I was too immature for my age.

After that I ended chasing her, though she led me on. Being that I am on the spectrum, I had a hard time taking a hint that she wasn't interested. It was only after she had stood me up that I got the hint. However, I ended up becoming really frustrated and fed up with her games.