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SandyLife223
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10 Feb 2023, 4:29 am

OK, so I think I am aroace. I don’t feel any sexual nor romantic attraction towards people. I see girls as just a friend, a platonic friend. I also identify as a Futch cisgender aroace girl.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Feb 2023, 6:20 am

I’m a cis male heterosexual. Nice to meet you :)



AnonymousAnonymous
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21 Feb 2023, 7:23 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)

I'm cisgender and straight.

You should never feel any shame in being asexual.

From a personal perspective, my NT sister gets heat whenever our bigoted uncles visit without calling ahead of time.

They believe asexuality isn't real, that she is making it all up, and that she is using her age to get out of wanting a boyfriend. :x

She is 35 and I am 32.


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noabody
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09 Mar 2023, 8:11 pm

Clinically speaking, I'm a trans-woman. I identify as asexual and it took some co-workers to point out that I'm [most likely] ASD level one (not really interested in going through the therapy thing again).

I read about a study that suggested a definite correlation between gender/sexuality/ASD and connections with ADHD. I suspect your intersectionality is not uncommon.



catpiecakebutter
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22 Mar 2023, 1:12 pm

I think I'm aromantic and heterosexual at the same time since I don't want to date anyone yet I still find men attractive. I'm a year away from turning 40 (just turned 39) and I think for me friends are easier than dating.



SandyLife223
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08 May 2023, 6:22 am

Now for some reason , I get crushes on female characters from shows and movies and games. I mean, I don’t fantasise about them.. doing something, but I really get attached to them. Am I still aroace?


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CockneyRebel
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08 May 2023, 6:29 am

I'm also asexual and aromantic. I get a lot of flack from people about that, because they think that everyone should have a partner.


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colliegrace
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08 May 2023, 8:02 am

I'm grey-aro homoromantic asexual nonbinary. Sometimes it's just easier to tell people I'm an asexual lesbian, but I'm not really interested in dating anybody unless some very specific requirements are met. I've only had feelings for one person in my entire life, and she was already taken so I'm not looking.


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GreenVelvetWorm
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10 May 2023, 2:50 am

SandyLife223 wrote:
Now for some reason , I get crushes on female characters from shows and movies and games. I mean, I don’t fantasise about them.. doing something, but I really get attached to them. Am I still aroace?


What you're describing definitely still fits under asexuality. If you don't ever look at someone and feel the desire to date them or have sex with them, that would be considered aroace (but you can use whatever label makes most sense to you).

There's also a subcategory of asexuality that some people (including me) identify with, called aegosexual. It's sort of a "self-contained" sexuality where you may fantasize about fictional people or imaginary scenarios, but not in the first-person perspective. Basically, there are concepts that you're attracted to, but nothing that involves your participation. That might feel closer to your experience

In any case, don't worry too much about words unless you find them useful to you



x_Nighthawk_x
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17 May 2023, 7:19 pm

SandyLife223 wrote:
Now for some reason , I get crushes on female characters from shows and movies and games. I mean, I don’t fantasise about them.. doing something, but I really get attached to them. Am I still aroace?


I just went through this myself. I had a crush on a fictional female character 4 years ago.
Actually, because of that is how I came across the aro/ace community.
Anyway, because she’s fictional, I always stuck with the term aromantic because I wasn’t sure it really counted.
A little over a year later (after my 10-month crush ended), I started liking other fictional female characters. However, it wasn’t a crush like before. I liked them in a similar manner, but never as strongly.
This continued on and as the world started to reopen and I began interacting with real people again, it started happening with real people too, in the same way; similar, but never strongly or as a crush.
I had started looking into tertiary attraction as everyone kept saying the same things; romantic attraction is intense, while tertiary attraction isn’t, but it didn’t fit with how I felt. I had looked into the oriented aroace label on and off for several years, but again, I disregarded it because most were fictional.
I started reading about romantic attraction again and it wasn’t until recently that started looking into aro-spec identities. I had heard of grayromantic before and I knew one definition of grayromantic was someone who experiences weak romantic attraction, but I never thought of it meaning “low intensity romantic attraction”. When I came across that definition in a video, that’s when it clicked for me and I had to give it serious consideration.
Anyway, I currently identify as asexual and as a grayromantic lesbian, as well as GNC cis-female.

But enough about me. There are a few labels that come to mind with attraction towards fictional characters.

Fictoromantic: Someone who is exclusively romantically attracted to fictional characters. It’s considered to be on the aromantic spectrum as they are never attracted to real people.

Lithromantic: Someone who experiences romantic attraction without the desire for reciprocation. Attraction will fade once they find out they are liked back or shortly afterward. Some are even repulsed by the idea of acting on their attraction, while some others do, but it then fades if reciprocated. Some are only attracted to those who they can’t possibly be with, such as fictional characters, because they can’t reciprocate their feelings. Many lithromantics are primarily (sometimes exclusively) attracted to fictional characters for this reason.

Aegoromantic: Someone who enjoys romance, but is disconnected from it. Aegoromantics like to seek out romantic media and daydream about romantic activities between characters. However, aegoromantics themselves are never involved in their daydreams and are averse/repulsed by the idea of actually being involved in it (fantasies or IRL). “Aegoromantic” literally means “romantic without self”, thus they like romance, as long as they aren’t involved in it themselves (hence the disconnection).

Demiromantic: Someone who only experiences secondary romantic attraction, never primary. In other words, they have to know the individual first and have a strong bond with them before ever experiencing attraction. I’ve heard a lot about demiromantics being more frequently attracted towards fictional characters because “you can learn a lot more about a character in 10 minutes than you can about a person in 10 conversations.”

As long as you identify as aro-spec, you can continue to refer to yourself as aroace, as it is now an abbreviation for “aro-spec and ace-spec”, rather than “aromantic asexual”.
Also, you don’t have to use a different label to specify your attraction towards fictional characters, unless, of course, you want to.
Hope this helps!



Peridot.is.my.life
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05 Jun 2023, 4:22 pm

I am pretty sure I’m aroace too. But I’m just a teenager and maybe I will fall in love one day or something…
But I don’t think I will. I’m just not interested in any gender.
Also I’m agender but that’s not an option here.



AnonymousAnonymous
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09 Jun 2023, 7:29 pm

Peridot.is.my.life wrote:
I am pretty sure I’m aroace too. But I’m just a teenager and maybe I will fall in love one day or something…
But I don’t think I will. I’m just not interested in any gender.
Also I’m agender but that’s not an option here.


Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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IsabellaLinton
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09 Jun 2023, 9:40 pm

My gender is human.

As for sex and romance, if I like someone, I like them.
If I'm attracted to them, I'm attracted to them.

I don't use all the terminology myself.


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WilliamK1997
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05 Sep 2023, 12:11 pm

SandyLife223 wrote:
OK, so I think I am aroace. I don’t feel any sexual nor romantic attraction towards people. I see girls as just a friend, a platonic friend. I also identify as a Futch cisgender aroace girl.


I'm probably the same way and I see it an sort of unfulfilling way to exist because what's the point of my sex organs/physiology or strong social skills if im not going to spread my genes but on the other hand I despise distracting lust/sex drive, but hey I know i'll never be fit to be a parent anyhow.



colliegrace
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05 Sep 2023, 3:32 pm

Personally I love being aro and ace spec and wouldn't want to be any other way.


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ASD level 1, ADHD-C, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)

Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD