Depression, Anxiety, Hopelessness?

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I feel really weird. It comes once and a while and stays. Its sadness, mixed with anxiety and leads to depression. It starts with someone doing something to me, I have a co-worker that feels threatened and feels the need to compete with me constantly. If I had known this person was at the company I would not have taken the position. She has also talked badly about me to my boss and another person, and because I am new and she isn't this kind of stuff sticks. He has already come down on me about it, and it makes me not like him or anyone else at the company so I will probably leave after my contract ends.

Anyways, that is just the trigger the subsequent feelings are hopelessness, feeling trapped, realizing again how I can't cope with life like everyone else, knowing that I need to work for myself, and so on and so forth. And because I feel so bad about myself...because of her hard work toward trying to make me feel insecure and uncomfortable, I spend my weekend feeling trapped and thinking about work, versus working on my business or something else.

I hate that so many people are this way. Why not just leave other people alone? Also, why do I have to be so aware of it? Why can't I be oblivious? Why do I have to have such sensitivity and clarity about what she is doing? I have responded to her, and forced her to back down repeatedly, and asserted myself. Initially, I thought she was just being nice and so I continued to be kind and trusting, but I realized it was workplace bullying and that I couldn't go to the boss, so I just started shutting her down.

I feel like I am in significant distress. I have to spend hours in this environment, and I don't want to at all. But, I have responsibilities. So I have to go until I liberate myself.

I keep rocking in my bed with a stuffie. I think I will lie under my weighted blanket now. How do you guys cope with experiences like these, she is so abrasive and aggressive toward me all day long. I think at this point, I hate her. It's been three weeks. I am so f*****g triggered I just want to run. Her face never matches her words, her words never match her face, her tone is jolly, but behind all of it is seething anger and aggression.

Bad people enjoy and believe in their words even if theyre bad words. Thats why their expression doesnt match their actions and words. It's common in videos people to speak about horrible political opinions or other kinds of opinions and seem like they admire their own beliefs.

Is there a way to disassemble the contract before 3 months? My boss has done it on a days notice, we just had to visit the company's lawyer and write down some request with some responsibility of my own accord. I don't know if that works in your country.

https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/how-to-quit-a-job-you-just-started-0917

This is not the trigger. This is something your brain picks to focus on to rationalize pre-existing depression.


You can put effort and intent into increasing your mental power and happiness. Happy brain has very different cognitive bias, it will be preoccupied with positive stuff, and will not notice as much negative or at least you'll be able to easily brush it off and get distracted by doing something fun.

Physical activity, direct sunlight, fresh air, proper nutrition is what makes our brain happy, gives us good mood. Mood is just a cognitive bias, what our brain will focus on to rationalize mostly pre-existing positive or negative emotions.

Human resources

Telecommute

I quit the next day, started another job a week later, and added another job last week. Thanks for the words and support. I have been in and out of depression ever since, but I'm ok.

That's good to hear. Seems like a lot of changes and keep strong and trying to find your path. Good luck!

Thanks, I am exhausted.

I’m supposed to start emdr in 2 weeks and I’m just wondering if it can helped blocked memories come back?

I have heard mixed things. I hope it went well.

Well done for taking this necessary step.

Workplace conflict is a source of misery for many and especially for those of us on the spectrum.

Last edited by Patrick22348 on 21 Oct 2023, 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I had a coworker like that, when she was promoted to office she became so mean. (I think she didn't want the position, it stressed her out. She took it out on the rest of the coworkers.) She eventually quit, swearing at the boss over the phone about how she was f*****g done and wouldn't come back.
During the time she was there, I suffered severe anxiety when at work.

When I mentioned her behavior to my boss, I was told that I should have brought it to her attention and she would have stopped it.