Does autistic people make narcissists nervous?

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ToughDiamond
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27 Oct 2023, 12:59 pm

I suspect so, generally and in my own case. Whether I'm trying to deflate their egos kindly or cruelly, I'm pretty sure they don't like me unpicking and questioning their assertions. I've known Aspies who just can't let it go when somebody's said something they consider to be wrong, oblivious to the way they're threatening the other person's pride, unable to see how scary it can be for anybody to be bluntly set straight with no way they can withdraw with dignity and grace. I saw the point a long time ago but I can't claim to have completely taken it on board yet.

I often wonder why I don't just leave them to it, but I hate to see narcissists getting away with grabbing more than their fair share of self-esteem from the collective pool. I used to really lay into them when I was younger, same with bullies in general, but these days I'm much more diplomatic about it. Still, narcissists are frequently a vexation to the spirit, enough to make a parson swear, and I guess it's only human to love it when a bully is finally beaten up till they cry, if certain popular old movies are any measure of human taste.



Weight Of Memory
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27 Oct 2023, 2:19 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
I've known Aspies who just can't let it go when somebody's said something they consider to be wrong, oblivious to the way they're threatening the other person's pride, unable to see how scary it can be for anybody to be bluntly set straight with no way they can withdraw with dignity and grace.


Ironically, this behavior sometimes gets Aspies themselves labeled as narcissists.



PhosphorusDecree
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27 Oct 2023, 2:33 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Weight Of Memory wrote:
BillyTree wrote:
I read a post on instagram by a self-proclaimed narcissist


It bothers me that narcissists are allowed to roam freely.


Yes, having a personality disorder isn't illegal. :wink:


I've done my statutory "no, this is an actual specific thing," and it's gone in one ear and out the other as per usual....


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funeralxempire
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27 Oct 2023, 5:28 pm

PhosphorusDecree wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Weight Of Memory wrote:
BillyTree wrote:
I read a post on instagram by a self-proclaimed narcissist


It bothers me that narcissists are allowed to roam freely.


Yes, having a personality disorder isn't illegal. :wink:


I've done my statutory "no, this is an actual specific thing," and it's gone in one ear and out the other as per usual....


If we're using the term more broadly I think my point stands even moreso, traits aren't illegal and it would be a scary dystopia if they were.


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ToughDiamond
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27 Oct 2023, 7:17 pm

Weight Of Memory wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
I've known Aspies who just can't let it go when somebody's said something they consider to be wrong, oblivious to the way they're threatening the other person's pride, unable to see how scary it can be for anybody to be bluntly set straight with no way they can withdraw with dignity and grace.


Ironically, this behavior sometimes gets Aspies themselves labeled as narcissists.

I can imagine that. In my case people have sometimes thought I was deliberately yanking their chains or having a go at them. I was surprised how many people take robust inquiry as a form of assault. It's less of a problem in the scientific community, where the good scientists welcome it when their ideas are challenged, and they say science is a good choice of job for Aspies. Problem for me was that working with good scientists lulled me into a false sense of security and made me expect too much of everybody else. Especially those in positions of authority.