How do you deal with feeling like you have no privacy?

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I always feel like I have no privacy. That makes me super depressed. It makes me hate my life. One huge reason is my mom. She always asks questions about every little thing I do. So I often avoid doing a lot of things I want to do. When I was talking about this issue, someone described it as having social anxiety with your own parents. I guess this is a good description. I’ve had social anxiety with my own peers forever. It makes sense I’ll have it around family as well. I always fantasize about moving far away from my family, but I feel like I’m not capable. So that makes me hate myself even more.

One example is making any noise at home. I never listen to any music out loud because I know she’d comment. I just got a fidget toy and she ended up asking what noise that is. I have nothing to hide, but little questions like that are why I feel like I have no privacy. This is one reason I got addicted to the internet at a young age. It was the only place I felt like I could breathe.

She also keeps track of my bank account, which feels like a massive invasion of privacy. She says she doesn’t care how I spend my money, but her little comments say otherwise.

I just decided to test her today. I just got this new app for paying for the bus. It will probably look weird on my bank statement. So I’ll see if she asks about it or not.

Moms are tough!

No matter how old you get or how successful, you will always be her baby and she will always worry about you.

Just politely roll your eyes (when she's not looking) and bear with it.

(Sometimes she might come in handy!)

P.S. Are you old enough to return the care? To make sure life is treating her well?

It driven me into further hyper independence.
And keeping even the basic of things a secrets.

Written stuff? Coded.
Docs? Password protected. Even have fonts that I have to memorize so no one could read it.
Drawings? Might as well just take a picture and burn it.
Anything digital? Keep it away from anyone's eyes, keep it unlinked to anything.

A lot of walking away whenever I'm asked.
A lot of hiding spaces around the house.
A lot of locked boxes and hiding the keys where no one else knew where.

Perhaps, to a point of lying.
I grew up without a secured sense of privacy.

I even got lucky in my own case where I did my best to not make anyone worry as much as possible.
And after over 20 years, I finally have my own room.

And whenever I saw my room, not locked when I get back home from work? It takes me weeks to calm down about it.


I'm aware of my own "BS" that no longer had two or more players.
But that doesn't change the fact that my trust had been irrevocably broke even before my teenage years.

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I haven't lived with my mother since I was 18.
That's a very long time ago.

I still feel like she invades my privacy.
It's question after question after question, always.

I don't answer them.

She does not stop talking.
I don't know how she breathes.

I won't even show emotions around her.
My emotions are private.

I won't talk on the phone or tell her anything.
She gets monosyllabic replies at best.

She's lucky that I mentioned having children.

I can't handle anyone invading my privacy.
I'm extremely private and always have been.