Life long depression

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Do some of you feel you’ve never been happy? I feel like my whole life has been fighting depression and/or anxiety. I’ve spent entire life waiting for life to become easier. Life has always felt extremely difficult. I’m so tired of it. How to overcome this? I am not suicidal but I have to say I really don’t enjoy this life.

Life will indeed feel subjectively difficult if you are experiencing depression. It is only natural then, that if the depression lasts a long time, then for as long as you have depression, life will remain feeling difficult.

I have no answers, but I do encourage you to try several different medications for depression to see if any of them work for you.

CBT can help some people with depression (cognitive behavioural therapy).

I have tried to find "happiness" all my life, seem to have experienced it only once or twice that I am aware of, I have finally been able to find peace and being content, feeling safe since my diagnosis at age 68, before that I did not have enough self understanding to figure any of that out. Emotions and recognizing them (my own) is a very new experience. I was trained for a lifetime to ignore my own feelings, needs, and wants and to try to please others. I can identify other's emotions reliably, it has been a journey to discover my own feelings, wants and needs now I know of my autism. Yes, life long depression is finally lifting now I understand "why" I struggled so all those years.

Before I suffered a terrible setback 1 and 1/2 years ago that has led to the most painful period of my life, I thought I had it more or less figured out. The answer for me (then, though it no longer works now) was acceptance. Wanting things, hoping for things, wishing for things to get better all cause distress. Accepting things as they are can lead to a sense of peace and even contentment. I think that's provided you have the basics, though, like love and companionship, and enough stability to survive, like food and shelter. It's easier said than done.

Depression is genetic in my family.
There are genetic variations which can predispose a person to anhedonia.
It's very ... depressing. (lol - sorry, bad joke, but true)

I enjoy my own little world but I wouldn't call it happiness.
I don't have energy enough to be happy like other people seem to be.
All my energy is used just to survive.