Why is it a "thing to do" to have kids ?

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I've seen people I recognise from years ago who I don't stay in contact anymore and have seen them with their own kids. I seem to feel as though people are having kids not always because they want but because they "have" to because it's the thing to do. Obviously I don't know whether they wanted a child or not and just got pregnant and had a baby anyway. But it just feels that way to me.

Having children is the natural result of having sex. To prevent this one either abstains from sex or uses mechanical, chemical, or surgical technology to prevent them. Many people avail themselves of the technology to prevent children (as can be seen in declining birth rates). Often this is based on the desire to avoid the aggravation, expense, and time spent on children and keep it for oneself.

Perhaps an underappreciated aspect of parenting is that having to take care of the natural selfishness of a child opens the door to a selflessness that might not have been explored otherwise. It is through this door that much satisfaction is found in life.

Tis mother nature at work.

When the pretty white petals of a bramble flower drop off, having been visited by bees or such like, carrying the other part of the required map for life, they produce little green lumps, which turn to pink then purple then black, ever enlarging (if the environment prevails) until they are juicy and delicious blackberries.

And my little one LOVES blackberries.

It is not always pure choice to procreate. Nature / genes / instinct / environment / opportunity allow this to happen. If it wasn't for reproduction then none of us would be here.

What makes you think they had kids because they thought they were expected to, rather than it being an active choice?

I'm not doubting you, because you know them and I don't. There are plenty of people who have children because they think it's a societal expectation. I'm just wondering what gives you that impression about these particular people

Well, society is built on people having enough children to replace the aging population.

All that said, I don't want kids. Or sex. Or marriage. Most people do want those things, I think.

The mother nature!!
I think it is better to engage children in love with nature. they must be the son of soil. For this, plantation, gardening, and roam in nature especially during the off days will be a perfect hoby.

I've heard people mention their parenthood in terms of having done their duty for society. That doesn't necessarily mean it was a major reason for them. They could have just been acknowledging it in hindsight as a byproduct.

For me, duty to society doesn't factor into the decision. Many people feel the same way I do (and, yes, some vehemently don't). I have relatives who chose not to have children, and some of my co-workers chose the same. I haven't heard any onlookers disparaging them for it. As for the people I know who are parents, I couldn't imagine saying to them, "well, you did your duty for society."

I don't get the stigma of adults being child free in this day and age, especially if you're female. My parents never seemed to mind that I didn't give them grandchildren. It's not like they could count on me to do so, anyway.

We very much wanted both our kids. We did it for no one but ourselves, even though it certainly changes you free time, your finances, and how/where you travel. Life is richer when you re-live it through a child’s eyes. It’s just “more,” both good and bad. Amazing memories of getting so much joy just watching or listening to them, although there were definitely times of intense frustration and exhaustion. Now they are grown, I have these two amazing adults in my life that are truly my favorite people anywhere.

And, of course, Mother Nature drives us to want this.

As the world changes so do the instincts nature gives us. Younger generations are less likely to want kids. I think that is fine, it’s part of the balance Mother Nature will always seek.