yes, I hear you.
The idea that we are not able to empathize has been disproved. We simply have more difficulty communicating what we "feel" .
For years I was told I was unfeeling, uncaring, deliberately cold and cruel.
I sorted a lot of that out after my very late diagnosis and realized that one of my problems early on was that I was punished for showing other emotions (anger, fear, anxiety, jealousy, and so on) I was told early on that my feelings didn't matter. I was to do as I was told no matter what.
So I learned to hide emotions and to try to use reason as the way to communicate and interact with the world.
No winning this one!
As my final days close in I am just learning to find and express my emotions better. Still a work in progress.