I feel like i will go mad some day.

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I was a very promising child, but now, im the opposite.

I'm going broke, depressed and anxious about my situation.

But im still sane, and patient. This is not good. It's not what i deserve. There is something much more in me thats waiting to be unleashed.

I can relate in a way. I had a lot of potential as a kid and young adult. Many people don’t live up to their potential for whatever reason. It seems to be a common human experience although I’m sure that that fact probably doesn’t help.

Personally speaking, I’ve needed to focus less on what could’ve been and redefine what success means to me. For me, it’s not about having an amazing career, changing the world, traveling the world, and whatever else I used to think about. It’s about finding meaning and happiness in whatever way I can that aligns with my moral values and making the lives of people around me better in some way - typically, in small ways. Small contributions can add up. My path is not always easy, and I still feel regret sometimes, but it’s gotten better over time.

With all that being said, you are 25. You still have time to figure it out. If you feel like depression and anxiety are holding you back, you might want to focus on those things first. I know from experience that it can be hard to figure things out when depression and anxiety are a problem.

Thinking about your situation in terms of whether or not you deserve it seems kind of pointless.

Unfortunately, we still live in societies in the western world where there are people who become poor and often are oppressed further by being poor in a vicious circle of sorts, with no end in sight out of their economic misery.

The only real way out of poverty for a lot of people, even autistic people who may be on state disability or some such income - is work. And even then, work doesn't really pay as much as it should. So there isn't even hope of that for many people. And of course there are lots of barriers to employment for autistic folk including discrimination in the recruitment process and general discrimination even after that.

What is your living situation? If possible, you should live with parents if it is suitable. That is a sure way of likely improving your financial situation. Even if it only a temporary solution.