Gorillas Are Monkeys, and So Are You!

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Of course we're monkeys. We're the naked ape. Everybody knows that.

Reminds of the joke my brother would make singing Happy Birthday when we were kids:

Happy birthday to you,
You live in a zoo,
You look like a monkey,
And you smell like one, too!

Nobody said "chimps are human". Apes are the bigger taxon...specific species (human, chimp, etc) are the smaller taxon. The smaller taxons are subdivisions of the larger, not the other way around.

Why your joke was a fail.

But what the OP DID say is that humans are part of the ape "country club" because taxonomically you cant draw a line around all apes in any way the excludes humans. Ergo humans are apes...and also are monkeys.

So the way to save your joke would be to say that "I meant that ....non human apes would be insulted to hear that humans are one of their own". That gorillas et al would want us in separate category. And would rather not allow riff raff like us membership in their ritzy country club. Sumpin' like that.

Humans and gorillas are also...fish.

Aberrant fish with lobe fins, lungs, and reduced gills. But fish nonetheless.

Also snakes are lizards, ants and bees are wasps, and butterflies are moths.

And..(according the latest think by zoologists according to a Utuber)...ALL insects are ...a subset of crustaceans!

Butterflies are freeee...and are also in the same taxon as Alaskan king crabs!

I once got chewed out for eating a meal while taking a hot shower.

I had been to a football game on a cold and wet Saturday afternoon and was shivering the entire second half.

After the game, I walked over to a restaurant and got a hamburger and fries to go and then walked on to my apartment. The apartment was in a pretty old building and there was about a foot ledge above the bath tub with a window. So I put my hamburger and fries on a plate and set them in the window ledge, turned on the water as warm as I could stand it, and stepped in. I kept my hands dry and ate the hamburger and fries while basking in the warmth.

I later mentioned it to a medical doctor and he chewed me out. From what he said, being that cold, my blood had moved to the core to keep me alive. Climbing into a hot shower like that would cause the body to send the blood back to the extremeties and could easily cause a fatal heart attack on the spot. He said that I was lucky that I didn't die from that stupid trick.

I love Clint's Reptiles' phylogeny videos. IRRC, this is the one where go goes off on one about an old-fashioned professor who basically delayed his doctorate for a year over the "monkey question".

Other interesting implications of monophyly: You can't have a clade of "lizards" that doesn't include snakes. You can't have a clade of "dinosaurs" that doesn't include birds. And you can't have a clade of "fish" that includes both sharks and salmon unless it also includes everything from frogs to sparrows.

When I was a kid the books all divided up dinosaurs into two categories by what kinda hip bones they had. There were the "lizard hipped dinosaurs" (hydrosaurs, T rex), and the 'bird hipped' (brontos) because those were the modern critters that their mid body skeletons were most like.

Ironically years later it turned out that modern birds evolved from dinosaurs....but oddly...they evolved from the LIZARD hipped dinosaurs, and not from the bird hipped ones.

Just to nitpick, sauropods have lizard hips, hadrosaurs have bird hips.