sister

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Sister (44), inherited the house that I (retail) have been living in, alone, since 2020. Sister (medical doctor) lives 20 miles away, with spouse (electrical engineer) and two children (13 & 9). Sister has been paying the property taxes and utilities. Since 2020, sister has been threatening to sell the house, every time I bothered her. The reasons why I bothered her: the neighbors' dogs kept getting into my backyard and I am afraid of dogs, dryer not working, things like that. So I stopped bothering her. She kept telling me to do things like sweep the driveway, vacuum kitchen floor. And I did.


Today, sister texted me "Can you do a little yardwork every few days? Just pull up some of the weeds and grass to keep things from getting out of control. Its a pain in the butt to get any gardeners to come." "Every few days"? That sounds like a *lot* of work. (time and energy). I've been getting physically weaker, for a long time, and was never that healthy to begin with. Squatting is so exhausting. If I lived in an apartment, I wouldn't have a backyard to worry about altogether.

My sister is cisgender, heterosexual, neurotypical. Emotionally stable. I am autistic and trans and emotionally fragile.

But I don't have any good reason to refuse. I only have one part time job, zero children, zero "friends". I'm afraid that if I do not do what she told me to do, she will sell the house.

exhausted all the time

executive processing disorder

Thinking about it makes me want emotional overeating.

today, finally pulled weeds. dirt kept getting in eyes. squatting exhausting. took about one and a half hours. not that many weeds to pull, but it took a lot of energy to pull them. would not be surprised if back pain tomorrow. emailed sister. she said that i could use a manual lawnmower (about $100 home depot), so i don't have to squat.

in any event, do *not* wanna pull weeds every couple of days, like sister suggested.

It sounds like she was suggesting that if you do a little bit every day, or some days, it will be less exhausting than if you try to do the whole job at once.

tried and failed to clean the goggles from work. dish soap. hand soap. not working. looked up on internet. you have to use a specific cleanser. storeroom. can't find goggles. for some reason, patio table had a pair of swim goggles. could use them for the weedwhacker. good enough, s**t.

the weedwhacker feels so heavy (mass/weight). however, yesterday, plugged it in and it still works. briefly considered wasting $100 on a manual lawnmower from home depot. but i only earn minimum wage. and i don't know when my sister will make me move out the house. when i move out the house, i won't have anywhere to store extra junk such as lawnmowers. manual lawnmowers still need maintenance. besides, do not even know how well the manual lawnmowers work.

wish i had "volunteers" like my former aikido "instructor", kayla b***h. (rolls eyes). for plenty of years, kayla has been in violation of the Fair Labor Standards Act. it is illegal to have "volunteers" @ for profit businesses. kayla's business is "for profit". kayla has had plenty of "volunteers", for many years, for many hours a week. the volunteers do work like WordPress, bookkeeping, fix building, instruction, janitorial. i wish i had "volunteers" too, s**t. (rolls eyes). but annoying lil dipshits "care" about me so f*****g little. one of kayla's "volunteers", lisi, asked me if i wanted to borrow a "jo" (stick) and i said "yes" and she had the nerve to correct me "yes please". which could only be justified if she corrects "everyone". which i have a hard time imagining. besides, lending me her "jo" did not inconvenience her in any way shape or form. but for her to "volunteer" for kayla b***h every week for a couple of hours, costs time, $$$ and energy.

nobody gives a rat's arse about me except my sister, s**t!

even dena b***h had the nerve to refuse to say "excuse me" instead of "what" or "huh". dena b***h is not one of my *convicted felon* high school dropout, mentally ill coworkers @ home depot. "actions speak louder than words". everyone has "freedom of speech", but not everyone having sex with the boss.

cory was judgmental. judging my intelligence and character and expected me to do whatever he told me to do. (career advise). but he doesn't know the home depot situation. nepotism and s**t. just b/c cory has a masters degree in STEM, doesn't mean he knows more about my degree than i do. and cory's July 2023 email made me realize that that ass hole hasn't even been reading my emails. s**t.