I'm struggling to open up

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I need help but it's difficult. I feel like I'm betraying someone. I have a guy in me and he's honestly a big confidant in my dreams. But I think it's time he leaves so I can be myself. He's very very clingy and angry. In fact he's the reason I lose control of my temper. I don't know why but he wants to be seen and gets mad when people accuse me of putting on an act cause that's him. He's impulsive and honestly annoying lately. He doesn't want to be known but wants to be known. It's really annoying cause I want to wear dresses and makeup etc. he demands I dress in men's clothes and stuff.

I don't know when he showed up but I want him to go away. Every time I try he tries to sabotage. I get lightheaded and I can't talk properly. I've never been able to tell people about him. He revealed his name. That's when I knew he was bad news. Also the woman revealed her name. I don't know how to deal with it.

It makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't feel like I'm myself. I have to pretend to not be them sometimes. I want them to go. They argue and show me my thoughts in word sometimes. I just feel weird cause I don't even understand any of it myself.

Also how can I like convince myself theyre not threatening. I feel terrified sometimes that they're gonna be angry at me. They're names are Vanessa and Jack btw. I just need some reassurance.

Are you taking your meds again yet? I feel like they'll probably make him go away.

This sounds really stressful to deal with.

Yea. I've started again. I think they need to be upped. Its very stressful, disorienting and just extremely isolating. I just need to remind myself theyre not real. Sometimes I cannot move or talk. It's really annoying because I get weird vibes when other people aren't. That's how I'm kind of aware that's it's not real. It's really bad sometimes and I start to feel like my surroundings are different.or that I'm different. Also they cause me to have thoughts that my family is out to get me. It's embarrassing cause sometimes I start accusing people of things. Honestly I'm really glad I talked about it because I am now realizing that it's me and not some external force threatening me.

I'd wait awhile before upping the dose starts to be considered. Don't the side-effects cause you to stop taking them when you think things are fine?

Yea. I forgot about that. I do quit a lot.

What your experiencing makes me think of multiple personality disorder.

It can take a bit of time to adjust to various psych meds. My advice is to be honest with your psychs & docs about how you feel & what your experiencing & don't make any changes to your meds without their support.