What to do about work?

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I live and work in Norway.

I have worked as a Software Engineer for the past 8 years or so. Before that, I was a robotics researcher.

I think the past 7 years of my life or so, has just been horrible. Just complete burnout, confusion on why I was feeling that way, for jobs that I should be more than capable of doing, problems with the employers, being fired by the employers, people not wanting to work with me or know me after working together. There has been a lot of shame and guilt and disappointment.

It was only recently was I diagnosed with Asperger's, and it has made a lot of things make sense. However, it has been very touch and go, as my employer wasn't open to accepting the workplace accommodations requested by social services, and ever since I've been more or less working in the same conditions that cause burnout, while also anxious about the hostile working environment from my supervisor.

At this point, I just don't know if I should retire from being a Software Engineer, as it has just never been a fun experience at these companies, and I am just so so burnt out.

On speaking with the labor and welfare services here, there is a possibility that they will help me find another job, that allows me to use my qualifications, but at least allows for the flexibility to work from home or something.

What do you think I should do?

I don't know what you should do, but if you are feeling burnt out and unhappy, it might make sense to look for a change. I don't know how easy it will be to find another job, so that's a consideration. But I wouldn't stay in a situation that sounds untenable for you. Best of luck.

everything is give and take. I think if you try to find a group therapy resource, something practicing Dialectical Behavior Therapy, you might be able to learn more about other people's struggles and work through some of the patterns that might be holding you back.

I have had better experiences at larger companies in terms of people being more receptive to workplace accommodations. Software development all seems to have moved to agile style management where managers will prioritize things getting "done" without really giving much focus on whether things are "done right". It is very frustrating for everyone and doubly frustrating for me because I am very protective of my work... I don't like having to take 1-2 hours out of my day to provide incremental updates and be at the mercy of project forecasts and deadlines.

I don't really know what specific experiences you are having. I would try and make sure you're not assuming or mind reading when it comes to interacting with managers or coworkers.

I don't know about the resources where you live, but is it possible to get listed with a recruiter (they call them head hunters here) who will search available jobs (IT, Computer, etc) and match them to your qualifications?
Son had miserable job in IT security and with the help of a recruiter, he was able to find a much better job with better conditions and better pay and benefits. This new job matches his skills and the employer finds his input valuable. (He has got raises since he began working there, and more time off)
Each person may be different, of course, but if you have job recruiters available there, perhaps you can get help finding a better position that is more suited to your strengths and struggles. hope you find a way to get what you need.

I suggest looking for a job with a compatible work environment.
Who you get as a new manager will be most important if you have autism.
It isn't important that the manager actually understand autism, as autism needs to be evaluated on a case by case basis. But, what is important is that they will work to meet your needs.

For instance, someone needs andexpensive chair because their back is bad and they sit it all day.
It isn't necessary to know why that is necessary to obtain a "name" or diagnosis.
Oh, you need a Herman Miller Aeron, size large? We can do that.

Often supervisors and colleagues have no idea the harm they are doing to us - but try to explain and we get seen as complainers or nutcases.

I found it was helpful to seek psychological support outside the workplace. That way I could rant about all my issues at work in a safe and confidential setting. Then I was better able to get on with my actual work without worrying too much about the whole social/political aspect of it.

So my suggestion is to find someone outside work to vent to, or write it all in a journal or something. Coming here to Wrong Planet is a good first step.

Hope things improve for you.