Not wanting to tell girlfriend about diagnosis?

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So your diagnosis is a professional opinion based on a set of symptoms. Without the diagnosis, you'd still have the symptoms. It's possible those symptoms might affect your relationship, but they haven't so far. So if you think such a disclosure would be helpful, go ahead. But I don't think you should feel obligated.

That is true, but by the same token, they're not really obligated to stick around if they view it to be significant and weren't told. Hopefully in the future as a wider range of the community gets recognition it won't be so high stakes.

The whole situation can be rather complicated and there's a reason why outing other people is usually not a good idea.

Ok, I decided to tell her. She was actually ok with it. She said “Boo, I know what’s it’s like to be different. I’m a minority in the Pacific Northwest. You don’t need to change for me”

Well done you

How do you feel about that now then

Even taking dating/sex out of the equation, I'm reluctant to inform anyone I'm on the spectrum.

As has been discussed on WrongPlanet before, a lot of neurotypicals are under the (false) impression that being on the spectrum makes you mentally challenged.

That's what my reluctance to inform others I'm on the spectrum is about; I don't want others to think I'm mentally challenged.

She ended up being ok with it

Yeah. I read your post about her being OK with it after I had already submitted my last post.

I guess it's too late for you now, but another reason I'd be reluctant to inform a partner: If our relationship ends badly, the ex then has dirt to use against me (they could inform others I'm on the spectrum just to be spiteful). Which is also why I'm hesitant to tell others period about being on the spectrum (not just a partner); I then have no control over how far the news spreads.

Other than my parents and sibling, no one in my family even knows I'm on the spectrum. And the only people in real life outside my family who know I'm on the spectrum are therapists as well as a former boss who basically forced me to either admit I'm on the spectrum or get fired.