Still dealing with resistance from my brother regarding...

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Co-habitation and marriage to David!! !

Now that we are actually engaged my brother realizes that time is quickly running out for me continuing to live here with him!

He cannot really stop us from getting married or living together but he can try to guilt-trip me into staying

In order for me and David to start living together many things must be in place first like we need to find a place for us to move to such as an apartment

This is what I need to start discussing with him!

My neighbor Lorry was once in a similar position and her brother was clingy just like mine

She decided to get married and start a family anyway without his approval

The question is:

How can David and I actually begin moving towards co-habitation/marriage without being guilt-tripped by my brother to keep living with him?

Do I just need to leave him?

Does your brother have any medical concernes or what not? LIke is he disabled? like idk what all your situation is but like if your brother needs people taking care of him...would it be possible for him to live with you and your husband at least for a time. I can see how it would not be the most ideal but idk if your brother needs help and has no one else as a big sister myself I think I'd try to help either of my brothers if they fell on hard times.

and like if you moved out, maybe you could agree to at least visit your bother from time to time, like getting a boyfriend and potentially moving in with him is a good thing, but if your brother really only has you you should still make a point to visit him and at least just make sure he is doing ok. I certainly don't think you should keep from getting married, on account of him...but maybe showing that you don't just abandon him after the wedding would make it more clear. If he acts like a weird jealous as*hole its a lost cause, but if he just seems a bit down maybe he just needs a bit of reassurance that he is or can be a good person to.

Cause idk if your brother needs like outside help, he may just be afraid you will abandon him and hes afraid becuse he isnt very good at fending for himself...Its a hard situation and you don't owe him anything but seems like maybe he is afraid if you get married you won't be able to help him anymore and maybe he needs a bit of help.

He has Autism but is perfectly capable of being on his own

The problem is, he doesn't want to be alone

He literally has NOTHING else besides me!! !

My mom is in a rest home and my dad is dead

This has caused him to become 100% reliant on me

I will get married and co-habitate with David but it is going to require sacrificing my brother!

You're an important person in his life so try and make him feel like he's just as important to you and that might make things a bit easier for him

I'm really pleased that you're moving forward with your life btw

You shove so proud of yourself

One of my girlfriend's brothers has autism along with other various issues. He's lived alone for a long time & for the most part is more independent than me or Cass are. Despite that he's very demanding & controlling about Cass needing to spend time with him at his place. While she's there he's controlling about what she should do or not do at his place. He guilt-trips her into visiting him there claiming he cant go visit her due to his issues & he accuses her of not loving him when she doesn't comply with his demands. For a few years now he's been pressuring Cass to move to his town claiming that it would be a lot easier for her to visit him if she was living nearby. Cass started talking about moving there due to feeling pressured by him. It has caused a bit of fighting between me & Cass because moving would affect me as well & I don't want to move. Plus Cass has a history of making decisions based on if she would feel guilty or not. She says I'm more level-headed & logical about making decisions & she even admits that she regrets how a bit of her decisions turn out but she insists of making most of the major ones. She told me she didn't want to move due to concerns about things being spread out & their bus system being limited but she felt like she had to move because her bro will believe she doesn't love him if she doesn't move. However the bus service there recently changed for the worse so now Cass is finally stating she cant move there. Her bro says he could drive us places but he complains about having to pick her up from the bus stop when she goes visit him. He often says very contradictory things & then blames her when she gets upset.

OP if your brother is anything like Cass's bro you may have to set firm boundaries & expect that he will try guilt-tripping you over it. Use the guilt-tripping as motivation to move out because guilt-tripping is a form of manipulation & abuse.

My neighbor Lorry just got me some paperwork to apply to an apartment

This will get the ball rolling on us co-habitating with each other!! !