Taking Breaks

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I was wondering is it a Aspie Neurological Issue or OCD that I can't take on a lot for long periods? I feel that mostly everything has to be a ''certain way'' or after a while feel a anxiety attack coming on and have to sit down. I am hard on myself because I see people my age at 38 and what they can take on, such as being Doctors, Lawyers, Cops, Working in the city in Finance and so on, 3 or more kids and dogs, I know everybody feels stress but it seems right out of High School they can ''fit right in'' to that lifestyle and actually crave it. I on the other hand have emotional issues, anger or quick to aggression if pushed, work a few days a week and have one dog. I am hard on myself a lot because I see photos of people I went to school with on Facebook, and they seem to ''take on a lot'' and I think I have eczema on my hands just from life in general.

I am a "successful" professional in my 50s. That said, I also see that most others "do more" than me in terms of regular tasks. I attribute that in part to the fact that I am processing large amounts of data (sensory and informational) that they don't have to. My happy place is a spreadsheet (or applying logic) and then I am the one doing more.

Today I trimmed branches (to comply with a City citation = emotional baggage). I deliberately took it slow. I made sure to remove the branches before trimming more in case I suddenly got tired so I wouldn't be frustrated by a lack of completion. If I was over-reaching on the ladder I stopped. I'm getting better at having grace for myself and pacing myself. It went well. "That's enough for today", I told myself, which was hard b/c I have a compulsion to do it all, but it was good to stop and "leave" some for another day.

Also, myself, husband and kids went to a world-renowned museum recently and we took lots and lots of breaks and it went so much better than it had in the past. We were actually smiling still at the end.

Sometimes at work, I'll just get up and leave my desk on "autopilot". Mostly after a conference call, or a challenging project... my brain says "break" and my body complies, even though I am not aware. The other day on a call that had gone over I could sense my get-up-and-go urge and said "This is fascinating and I'd love to hear more, but my attention span has been exceeded and I need to go." My work group is diverse and inclusive and it was well received.

Talking about peer pressure, I went to a top H.S. in my country and my peers are famous or high up in business and the miliary, etc. Then there's me. I have two kids, two cats and am an individual contributor in Corporate America. LOL-cry. If I had been allistic, or male, or had better support as a child, maybe I'd be "more", but I did the best I could with my circumstances and will continue to do so.

BTW - I finally found a low-dose non-stimulant ADHD medication that is making it easier to initiate tasks. It's just been three weeks, so we'll see if it's temporary or sustainable. In the meantime, it's a breath of fresh air.

Wishing you intentional breaks rather than stressed ones. Wishing you find a way to be "complete" and gain satisfaction more often.

There are also many people who do far less! Looking the other direction, there will be others who have not got as far in life of have chosen other paths that some people might look at and say they are not "successful". It is unrealistic to compare ourselves with others in many ways because abilities, goals, support systems and "connections " or advantages others or we might have are so different. If you hear the words "should" "ought to" "need to" or other shaming, blaming, or 'directing' words in the way you are thinking, you are hearing somebody else's expectations, goals, or ideas about the way they think and what they want from you, rather than what is right for you. Be the best you and find your best skills and strengths to build on, figure out your worst weaknesses and find ways to work around them. Find self accommodations and put them in place the best that you can. If you are an apple, it is not helpful to keep comparing yourself to all the oranges. If you are a tuna its is useless to compare yourself to the sharks.