Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps

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Well...that's a horrifying story. New fear unlocked.

I never bothered to try the paid versions of any apps, so I can't speak to getting what you pay for. But I can speak about protections for female users, seeing as I was one. The protections on the apps I tried were all pretty minimal. The most powerful tool in the arsenal is unmatching with people. This gives you the ability to stop contact with a person, and you can report them if they did anything against the rules. So, for example, I unmatched with Mr. OnlyFans and reported him. I have no way of knowing if anything came of that though.

The majority of the "safety features" in apps are little popup warnings that remind you not to do various things. Like, for example, apps tell you not to trade email, socials, or phone numbers with users. It's very hard to tell if this is a bid to keep people safe like they claim, as the warning notes they have no authority to assist you if you use something other than their chat function, or if it is another excuse to keep you using their system for monetization purposes. I was also given a popup when I shared the address of a park warning me not to share my location. Which is solid advice. I dunno if men get these too, but often when I'd sign up I'd get a mini "safety course" warning me to make sure friends/family always knew where I was when I was on dates, to only meet in public places, to avoid consuming too much alcohol. It's all basic safety stuff that's drilled into women. Some apps also have the option to "verify" profiles through various means and those are generally safer because they're less likely to be bots or catfish.

One scary thing I remember from my adventure on the dating sites was that guys can find you on multiple platforms if you use more than one. I had a conversation with this guy on one of the sites, then he messaged me "found you!" on another site. I trusted this guy because he was also autistic and he gave me some tips on my dating profile because he was concerned I'd attract predators, but if it had been someone I'd had negative interactions with it probably would have been pretty scary. On the whole I was insanely lucky that I didn't run into anyone particularly terrible, got no unsolicited genital pictures, and never felt in any danger.