My executive functioning is crap. How about yours?

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It’s always been a primary reason why, along with bullying related trauma, I haven’t pursued further education since an abortive attempt at an A level nearly 50 years ago. I can feel so worthless,no good, and stupid, because of it. Some days I get overwhelmed by how busy my mind is. It's like being forced to watch 20 TV channels at the same time, each showing a different programme.

My main issue would be related to short term memory, communication and verbal processing, recall speed, adjusting to subtle internal changes, readjusting to any changes (despite being able to emotionally tolerate it and more), and anything related to sensory/emotional dysregulation and/or overwhelm will distract me/make me liable to make mistakes or even strip off my spatial awareness to a degree out of sheer stress/sensory overload along with poor stress management.

And most of it isn't natural nor inherent in my wiring, and it feeds onto my interoceptive hypersensitivities negatively.


Because, frankly, most of these is not "a part of my autism".
And more like a part of my damnable family history and circumstances while I happened to be autistic.


I could wake up one day, all of those issues gone for few hours or up to a week depending on my luck.
It meant there has to be SOMETHING hindering my cognition physically more than simply mentally or emotionally.

I contend with health issues that causes most of these problems.
Somewhere along the line, I might've been deteriorating since pubescent years.

And unable to progress well due to said unresolved issues no matter how much I accomplished before; all that inconsistent performance, all that intent-action discrepancy, all that learning and progress hindering habits and coping mechanisms...

Already had the desire to get rid of dysregulation since elementary.
Not enough awareness of possibilities, knowledge or solution to get out until teenage years.
Unable to rely on willpower anymore to 'cope' with any of it.

Not enough implemented solutions until very recently; for the past 5 or so years of positive and gradual changes.


I likely still have a chance to regain access to a reliable executive function that I couldn't access for very long due to said issues, or a chance to actually learn it as I gradually lose said issues encumbering my system since late childhood.


So far, I'm right about myself related to these issues.
I'm still in my productive years so I might as well attempt to chase for a solution to be the healthiest ND self while playing catch up-coping.

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I also have poor executive functioning. My living space isn't the cleanest.

Both hyper-focus and hyperactive-focus right here

I struggle a lot due to executive function issues.

I had an appointment recently with my psychologist and part of it was about executive functioning. Planning and prioritising stuff I have to do is something I'm awful at. So is attention and focus which could be due to my ADHD. Task initiation is another big one. I find it so hard to start chores, for example.

It's pretty bad.

I'm absolutely awful at prioritising what needs to be done in a multistep task. My focus varies to some extent by how much something interests me.I don't believe anyone really believes me when I say it's easier for me to score quite high on a high range IQ test, than it is for me to keep my flat spick and span. Or for me to create a weekly menu plan to save money on my grocery shopping. It's the truth though. My school reports often mentioned how disorganised and messy I was. So it's not an 'after becoming severely mentally ill' thing, nor is it a 'lack of intelligence' thing. I sometimes wonder how I'd do on Ritalin, but there's no way I'd get a prescription for it.

I have a formal diagnosis of autism, but the test results show that I have normal executive functioning. In fact, I've always felt that my exec. functioning was superior to that of the GENERAL population.

Impairment in EF is usually caused (correct me if I'm wrong) by the ADHD that comes along with so many autism diagnoses. I only have the autism diagnosis.

My research online tells me that about 10% of autistic people have normal EF.

I've had a few people suggest that I might have ADD.

Mine is also crap, most notably with planning, multitasking, and dealing with change.

Mine is not too bad. I mean when I was living alone, all my stuff are organized, my apartment was spotless and I managed all the tasks on time and met social expectations. After I got married my abilities could barely keep up with expectations (for a normal person, which I thought I was). After having children, and especially after an injury we live in a perpetual pile of mess. My husband and kids are all slobs and I don't have the ability to clean up all their mess. We try to do family cleaning time once in a while and everyone is quite willing to do their part, but if I don't start such an activity, nobody else will start them. My mind is still good at organizing and planning. I order all our stuff online and pay bills on time. I organized two funerals in the last few years.

I find it helps to keep a list of stuff I need to do and try to do one a day.
Keep a calendar on the refrigerator to keep track of what I've done. It is obvious when I'm doing stuff and when I'm not.

I pay my bills as soon as I get them, except for those medical ones that take time for the paperwork to sort out.
I've also set up autopay when I can to pay the bills automatically. Unless it is just too hard like health insurance. I think the software is broken.

As much as I hate to say it hearing others struggle with executive functioning just like me makes me feel a bit better about it. I am pushing into my final year of uni and also am waiting to move away from home for the first time and this struggle frightens me with how I’ll manage. I wish All the best to everyone struggling like me.

Oh yeah. My executive functioning is very much crap. It's one of my biggest problems. The washing machine sitting in my kitchen for the last six months now because i keep forgetting it's there and not getting a dolly to take the damn thing in the basement so I can hook it up and have a functional washer can testify to this. Seriously, this stuff is beyond ridiculous. And the messed up part, I keep a clean house, pay my regular bills on time, stuff that is routine and habit it tends to stay that way. But throw something new into the tick tock workings of my life and I am lost...total deer in headlights. It's a mess. I can be a mess.

Mine is also crap!