Not quite the right word!

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Come up with a sentence where the right word has been replaced by a similar one and no longer makes much sense....

Examples:

The price of food keeps osculating.

Earthquakes happen when the platonic plates shift position.

My uncle started collecting stamps from all over the world as a boy and is still a very keen philanderer.

My niece had to see the orthodoxist about her teeth.

My next door neighbour started ranting and raving to me about the noise caused by my washing machine, so I told her not to get historical about this.

NB: a character called Hilda Ogden in the British soap opera 'Coronation Street' used to specialize in this kind of thing. She frequently referred to the 'Muriel' on her living room wall.

Interesting! I think they're called malapropisms.

Obese people can benefit from exercise programs that burn celluloid.

No matter what awful things they say, some people tend to follow demigods without question.

Aliamentary, my dear Watson!

Someone must have been poisoned!


Trespassers will be prostituted.

Fighter pilots are equipped with projector seats

The recipe calls for desecrated coconut.

Asterix and Obelix are invincible, so no one can see them.

Perms and conditioners apply.

The workforce are being used as political prawns in this strike.

"I thought that 'Croatians' were a kind of shellfish...like shrimp and lobsters!"

A coworker of mine actually said that.

They were respectable pillocks of the community.

(Was at a time in an English exam where I was trying to expand my vocabulary to impress, as I had a narrow vocabulary, so I thought with that statement I would have extra points. I got it wrong and had a telling off instead and my parents found out via the parents evening day if I recall correctly. How was I to know it should have been pillars! I'm not psysic).

I guess I'm just a sedimentary fool.

I don't like when people keep implementing me.