Refusing to wear coloured clothing

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babybird
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05 Jun 2024, 9:48 am

Fenn wrote:
Yeah - international forum.
In USA middle school is loosely defined as 7th and 8th grade or 6th, 7th and 8th after elementary school (or “lower school”) and before high school. Kid are usually 5 in kindergarten so grade to age is “add 5”. Works out to 11 to 13 or 14. Basically “middle school” is “puberty plus social shark tank”.


:lol: thank you


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babybird
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05 Jun 2024, 9:49 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
Historically, I have pretty much always the same few colors and generally solid color clothes. For me, I just like black (my favorite color without a doubt and always has been), grey, maybe some olive. It also keeps things simple. All of my clothes always match, and it requires zero thought on my end to get dressed every day. I just grab some crap and put it on and there you go. I have tried to add in some brighter colors to my wardrobe, some interesting patterns or whatever, but they end up handing in my closet not getting much (if any) use, even if I like the thing. *shrugs*

Point being, it might be a simplicity thing. Kids that age really care about things like coordination in outfits, looking 'right' and so on. If that's not her thing and she struggles with knowing what will go together, black and grey is a combo that will always work and look good together. No one will ever be correct in saying her outfit clashes or looks tacky or whatever. It really is an uncomplicated approach to clothes that works.


Yep as simple as that


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DuckHairback
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05 Jun 2024, 10:09 am

Hey guys, thanks for everyone's thoughts. There's a lot here to consider and i am processing...


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26 Aug 2024, 2:37 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
My daughter has always had issues around clothes. Some are sensory but others are based on colour.

She's always done this. She wears boys underwear (shorts) because she doesn't like the feel of girls underwear but we get these packs of 5 and each has a different colour waistband. Other than that they're identical. But she won't wear the ones with the green band. Flat out refuses. She says they feel different.


It sounds weird, but I believe her. One of my side hobbies is dyeing textiles, mostly clothing. Different dyes can have different effects on the fabric, some causing greater shrinkage or slightly changing the texture. She might be detecting a change that most of us wouldn't notice.

DuckHairback wrote:
She says she doesn't want to wear clothes with designs or any sort of style because she doesn't want anyone to comment on them.


That happened to me when I was 12. Another girl at school made an unkind remark about my favorite outfit, and I never wore it again. Afterward, I tried to blend in as much as possible.

DuckHairback wrote:
I don't care, really, except that it's a very visual marker of how she is different to her friends who wear normal kids clothes. And they're surely going to notice her grey clothes soon and that in itself might become something to comment on.


I'd deal with that if/when it comes up. Gray is the Neutral Color of the Century; it's everywhere.

DuckHairback wrote:
I do feel a bit bad for her because she sometimes gets vouchers to buy clothes from grandparents and she'll go to the shop and buy a really nice dress that clearly appeals to her in some way, and she'll try it on in the shop and like it, but then get home and refuse to ever wear it.


She might find joy in just looking at it. I'm guilty of this, myself. I'll buy something (a pair of shoes, a dress in my favorite color), and then not "feel right" about wearing it for whatever reason. My oldest daughter does this, as well. Sometimes, I'll hang onto something that I haven't actually worn yet, hoping for the day that I have the right accessory, or pair of shoes, or courage, to go with it. :heart:



King Kat 1
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31 Aug 2024, 11:25 am

Scopophobia - Wow I've never heard of this, but this is me, albeit with age I've gotten better with it. I don't like People commenting on something I'm wearing or how I look. It makes me feel weird and nervous for some reason. Blushing, even at 44 I still do this, and I embarrass easy.

My mother was telling some story one time about something weird I did when I was 11 or 12. I wanted to die, in fact I have this worry of people who know me as I am now, finding out stuff I did 15-20 years or even as a kid. This makes me very paranoid sometimes.

As far as not wanting to wear clothing that is colored or with logos on it. I can relate to not wanting to have people commenting on it or standing out too much. I like Dark colored clothing as it's practical, it matches most things, doesn't get dirty fast. Most of my shirts and hoodies are black, but also have dark blue and green.


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