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leozelig
Toucan
Toucan

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Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 283

14 Sep 2024, 3:17 am

Hi. I am having a weird texting scenario that happens with most family members who are not emotionally close to me. This happened with old friends but it felt like disinterest from them so I quit putting effort into the friendships.

I have some family members who don't really call me as I am not good about answering the phone. I also get sick of calling relatives who don't normally answer the phone either. It makes me feel drained. Texting seems to be the best way to have a convo.

They text me every few months or so to wish me well, and ask how I am doing. I reply to their messages happy to hear from them. But I noticed after I reply, they usually give me a thumbs up or a heart as a reply. I cannot really reply to just that, as I don't consider it enough for me to keep it going.

I find it confusing and pointless why they are initiating a conversation and then dropping it. It makes me feel like they aren't really interested in talking to me, just want to know what I'm up to and then they're done dealing with me.

I have had other family members do this in the past too and I ended up just not writing to them ever again, except really short replies. I guess I don't contact someone unless I want to connect with them so am finding it confusing.

I have kind of given up being more close to people because I had always tried really hard to connect and just would get this same kind of response. I'm not gonna pour my heart out to my aunt or my dad for a thumbs up.



Blue_Star
Velociraptor
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14 Sep 2024, 8:58 am

I'd say they're not initiating a convo, but instead are just trying to keep in touch. It's just little statements so you each know the other is still around & contactable. What kind of convo over text are you looking for? You'll likely need to say something or ask a question that's more than just yes/no. The problem is that it takes two to converse, & if they aren't interested in that then they won't. It may not even occur to them that you'd like more via text.



leozelig
Toucan
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Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 283

14 Sep 2024, 9:52 am

Blue_Star wrote:
I'd say they're not initiating a convo, but instead are just trying to keep in touch. It's just little statements so you each know the other is still around & contactable. What kind of convo over text are you looking for? You'll likely need to say something or ask a question that's more than just yes/no. The problem is that it takes two to converse, & if they aren't interested in that then they won't. It may not even occur to them that you'd like more via text.

Thank you, I am starting to think that my family doesn't know too. It is nice to think they are still wanting to stay in touch. It is difficult to get over the awkward stage and have more contact with them.

I tend to get closer to people and family members who persist with communication more with me. I actually do much better talking on the phone but mainly due to sensory issues and introversion, is why it doesn't happen often enough.