So, I noticed some actor who looked really happy, and...

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I thought it's just such a weird juxtaposition, that he likely (due to location) has all the access to guns he'd ever (likely never) need, while I don't, despite never seemingly desiring a bullet in my brain more, sometimes...

Have you gotten any help with your situation?

Not sure if there's any way to get help at all...

I've felt that way myself but it's not a good head space to be in and you have to actively work to pull yourself out of it. Is there anyone you can reach out to, whether a friend of relative, or a professional? It's serious and it takes work.

I got no friends, and the latter destroyed my life...

By the way, someone is editing posts here...? (If I want to reply to someone's statement I should be able to, wtf...)