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I have just read an article than Aspergers is actually a stress disorder? I wonder if that is true to a point, because I can't deal with a lot of stress for long periods. I am very hard on myself and wonder what is wrong with me, I can't keep up with others in my family, such as being a Doctor, Lawyer, Cop or Fire Fighter, my cousin is a stockbroker in NYC and commutes, I would be ''done for the day'' or overloaded just commuting. I don't know if all of that is normal for us, seems I need to do things slowly, or not everything falls into place easy for us. I apologize for all these posts not so much complaining, as curious because mostly everyone around me is NT, not many people to relate with.

I explored this narrative myself before.
And here's what I found;

- I don't accomodate myself enough. Don't like to be having to be mindful of my own sensory needs. I also don't have a reliable working and short term memory, thus stuff I have to remember carries weight. On top of that, some of my sensory needs are unavoidable (how does one go away from the sensation of gravity?)
- Task switching 'counts' as a gear switch and gear switching can be stressor to a monotropic mind. So it didn't mattered if it's a part of something big or it's actually an individual thing or something subtle... So yeah, if I try to accomodate, say, my crappy short term memory everytime, it registers as 'more work' than the future, logical 'will make things easier for me'.
- My hormones. My body and the interoception. They're my biggest source of stress and distraction. I am already mastering my mind and emotions, and I've yet to solve stomach issues, proprioception and many aspects of hormonal imbalance.
- A good portion of my mental stressors is coming from some internalized unsolved and unprocessed past emotions, in which thoughts and situations irrelevant today. Which I happened to solve recently and it did made a world of difference.
- On top of my body issues, I have plenty of inflammatory triggers that I've yet to figure which (because my culture's diet consists a lot of oily stuff and grains), and undodgable triggers (like the climate) that gave me rhinitis symptoms, which gave me more stress than everything in my life so far.
- My sleep issues is a seemingly lifelong issue of mine. I already looked at habits like screentime, eating times and amount, consumptions of certain substances (sweets, caffeine, etc...). I have, like, 5-7 things to mind (from whatever phase of the cycle I'm at, my damnable nostrils and breathing issues at the moment, to the temperature of the room) and gamble whatever state I'd end up waking up (which can be not only stressful but also painful -- or, sick and infected), on top of mystery other factors that I've yet to figure (like why is my sleep quality sh*t??)


That's just my body and intake of whatever input, not even counting my environment, social dynamics, etc.

Other factors made complicated living an issue. Thus I cannot afford a more complicated life, because I have more complicated 'needs'.

And I hate having needs.

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