hitting the wall after 5 years in customer service

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For the past couple years I've been having issues with work. A persistent and severe sort of anger began showing up last year.
At first drinking energy drinks helped calm me down. Then as time went on these became ineffective.

Earlier this year I was so angry due to being given shifts where I was stuck on a register and overwhelmed from sensory stuff that there was one day in particular where I literally had the fight the urge to physically lash out at customers!! !
That's.... terrifying.

I left early that day. I was later scolded for it. I was so angry.... like.... I did you a favor by leaving! I would have gotten arrested and have a criminal record if I had stayed at work any longer!! !!

Nearly 6 months later and yeah.... I can't do this anymore. I threatened to quit. And that finally got me a response from management other than "get over it".
I was offered reduced hours. Which I'm taking cuz.... some income is better than none at all.

My job is closing anyways in December. Management just wants me to stick around until then so I can get my severance pay from the company.

I actually like people and I consider myself to be a kind and understanding person??? And people tend to agree with that....

But place me under enormous overwhelm and stress and I no longer have the mental capacity to do anything but try and keep myself from going absolutely insane

I kinda think the anger is my body trying to communicate that I can't handle any more pressure, please stay the f**k away. And it IS anger to the point of (subdued) aggression

Have you discussed this with a therapist?

I'm really sorry you are going through this. As has been suggested and you are already trying to do, another job that doesn't require constant interaction and sensory overload would be a better choice, but it's easier said than done.

It's been a long time since I've had a retail job but there have been a couple of times when I lashed out at customers. Once I just walked out of the job and left my supervisor in charge to take care of things. Another time at a different job my amazing boss/owner of the store told the customer that if she was going to harass her employees she didn't need her business. But it was unpleasant for me anyway to find myself with that much stress that I couldn't take it.

it's honestly bizarre to go from

(age 23) "I might have ADHD and maybe that's why I'm struggling but everyone says I'm lazy and my mom should throw me out for not pulling my weight"

to (age 25) "I have reached out for professional help and am improving thanks to that and I've even managed to finally get a job"

to (ag 29) "so turns out I've been autistic all along but that doesn't mean I'm disabled cuz autistic people can still hold jobs"

to (age 31) "I am having to greatly reduce my job hours due to sensory issues stemming from autism and you know what.... maybe if at age 31 I am unable to consistently care for myself or my environment, still live with my mom, and am having to greatly reduce work hours because I have condition that is lifelong.... maybe everyone else is wrong and I actually am disabled by this. and maybe disabled isn't a bad word. maybe it just means I need help others may not"