managing social skills is like fixing a boat at sea.

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__Elijahahahaho
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Yesterday, 11:18 am

I feel like since discovering I am autistic I am constantly questioning my instincts,
and trying to find a new way to look at the world
perhaps through a more adapted Theory or Mind kind of gaze,
but I am constantly bumping into things and refactoring old
strategies and it's exhausting.

Bleb.



Edna3362
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Yesterday, 11:31 am

I gave up fixing said boat.

Instead, I have to learn how to surf with said pieces of that boat and have to rely on the waves instead of the winds and sails, and the oar may or may not be with me.


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__Elijahahahaho
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Yesterday, 12:31 pm

I am attempting to build a robot submarine out of the boat.
I will be able to effortlessly disappear then reappear in another part of the ocean!



ToughDiamond
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Yesterday, 1:29 pm

Yes it can get that bad. Seems to get a lot worse when I've been in my "fortress of solitude" for too long and the social skills have atrophied. My life is dead easy as long as people don't get the chance to screw with it. The changeover from that to the "real" world can be quite a shock. I've experienced just that lately - I don't know how society manages to find so many curveballs to chuck at me. But everybody else seems to sail through it.

I like your metaphor. Best advice I have, try to keep socially active at the level you can cope with. Use it or lose it.



BTDT
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Yesterday, 1:43 pm

Yes, it it is exhausting, which is why some stores offer special hours for those on the spectrum.
It may help to do only a little at a time. Sometimes a store will be really busy. I'll turn around and come back later!



Carbonhalo
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Yesterday, 1:48 pm

__Elijahahahaho wrote:
I am attempting to build a robot submarine out of the boat.
I will be able to effortlessly disappear then reappear in another part of the ocean!

Is that the Titanic over there?



pokeystinker
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Yesterday, 6:45 pm

__Elijahahahaho wrote:
I feel like since discovering I am autistic I am constantly questioning my instincts,
and trying to find a new way to look at the world
perhaps through a more adapted Theory or Mind kind of gaze,
but I am constantly bumping into things and refactoring old
strategies and it's exhausting.

Bleb.


That's why I wish I could learn to live like a proper social hermit. To take what's mine and be damned.


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bee33
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Yesterday, 11:13 pm

I seem pretty good at it but man is it an exhausting juggling act.



pokeystinker
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Yesterday, 11:26 pm

bee33 wrote:
I seem pretty good at it but man is it an exhausting juggling act.


Is it any wonder then, that us autists are exhausted all the time?


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SocOfAutism
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Today, 8:30 am

pokeystinker wrote:
bee33 wrote:
I seem pretty good at it but man is it an exhausting juggling act.


Is it any wonder then, that us autists are exhausted all the time?


Absolutely.

You know, it occurs to me that part of why I like WP so much is that there are a large number of people here who openly admit they are not good at something, but keep plugging along. I am not performing the best at social skills, so it comforts and inspires me to come here.

I have the ability to be very good at them, but I choose to not participate, because I think that some of what other NTs do is wrong. It can hurt me as much as anyone else to pay for my "social failures." And yes, I know I'm not exhausted like you guys, but reading your posts reminds me that there is so much going on socially that it's like a circus to keep up with.