Family And Town

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I was curious is it an Aspie issue that I feel I am not able to speak with family, I feel we are on different pages in life, and my town in my opinion isn't for me? I have been feeling stressed lately emotionally, trying to get my life together and ''get in the zone'' with everything. I feel a lot of sensory or ''boxed in'' in the suburbs, houses and town to close together, every minute lawnmowers, a lot of talking, and other sounds, is it possible I just have mental health issues are these types of environments are not for us?

I live near the middle of my town (though now named a city) and often wish for a quieter place to live. I mean, even right now next-door neighbours are moving their bins very loudly down their driveway and I'm finding it highly irritating. And now a bus has gone past. Argh.

Every weekend someone is mowing or hammering or grinding.

I don't think anything is wrong with you for feeling boxed in. You may be sensitive to it all, like I am.

On the two occasions I invited a friend round for dinner when my parents were still alive, BOTH asked "Is your family always like that?"
Like what?
"Weird"
Hmmmm.

If either of my brothers and I don't converse within a week of the previous conversation, some kind of wall starts to go up. Then it gets more and more difficult to instigate contact.
I don't think we've had any common ground this century, and I've only talked 1/2 dozen times with either since.
Big bro doesn't mask as well as I do, yet always fitted in better.

I couldn't get away from my relatives fast enough when I was a teenager. I think I was somewhat justified, because I was on a very different wavelength to them in many ways, so it was probably better that they didn't know much about my lifestyle, and their ways mostly bored me or filled me with disdain. I never completely cut off from my parents and sister though.

I just didn't get the automatic assumption that family members were supposed to be accepted regardless, and I still don't much agree that I shouldn't get to pick who I associate with. I've mellowed a bit. I no longer see myself as quite so different to them, and I can speak more freely and feel more comfortable with them than I used to. But I've always been one to reject people I can't relate to, whether they're family or not. It's probably just that I'm better able to see that we all have our humanity in common, and that differences aren't so profound as I used to think they were. As a teenager I read in a psychology book that children often end up adopting their parents' attitudes and traits, but I didn't believe it for a long time. I hated the idea that I might be like them, but I have to admit that I was.

As for the environments that family members live in, I think I might love the person but find their surroundings intolerable. So if one of them was trying to encourage me to be with them more, I could feel that was too much. I probably wouldn't say much about it but I'd be thinking "if you want to be with me, get out of this hell hole." Luckily for me my relatives are pretty quiet. Being in a noisy social situation would hurt me.

My parents had their own quirks and weren't always easy to talk to, in fact I never talked to them about my problems, because they would only overreact and make things worse, but I never had the slightest doubt of their deep love and caring for me, and now that they are gone I miss them so terribly. I'm 60 but I'm still a child and I want my mom and my dad, and I can't believe that they are not here, even though they were 87 and 91 when they died. I am very close to my sister and talk to her on the phone every single day and she has been incredibly supportive and patient with me in the last two plus years which have been the hardest of my life because my best friend of 40 years cruelly abandoned me.

But as far as my town, I have always lived in big cities so there has always been a scene or milieu that I felt I could relate to even though I am not close to anyone or feel like I belong. But it's much better than being surrounded by only people that I feel alienated from because they are so different that I can't relate to them.