Are we supposed to have everything sorted before 30?

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chris1989
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21 Sep 2024, 10:05 am

When I mean everything I mean things like careers, long term relationships, marriage and having children. I seem to feel as though there is still some kind of a stigma against people haven't had their lives sorted by a certain point in their lives. I do even feel sorry for women I mean the other day I was watching an interview between Piers Morgan and Jordan Peterson and Peterson was saying that 50% of women under 30 are childless and that a 30 year old woman is already a geriatric mother. I do understand that biology is at play there but it almost feels as though it's implying that a woman "should" have children only in her 20s. I even feel as though the same is said about men because they frown upon men who have kids later in life like for example, actor Robert de niro who had his last child at 79. I mean surely you can't blame people you don't know who maybe want children but through no fault of their own struggled with relationships or haven't found the right person at the "right" age and time and do it later on but get berated for it because they left it "too late".



bee33
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21 Sep 2024, 10:14 am

Listening to Piers Morgan and Jordan Peterson is something that no one should be doing. They are pushing a hateful and widespread right-wing agenda that is meant to bring women and women's rights back to the stone age.



IsabellaLinton
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21 Sep 2024, 10:19 am

This sounds like a continuation of the Taylor Swift thread, and many other threads on the same topic.

I believe there's a rule about not creating multiple threads on the same topic.

I don't mind responding to the question but it would be easier if you kept all these similar questions together in one thread so we can see what advice we've already given you, and get an idea which things have worked for you in the past.


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Blue_Star
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21 Sep 2024, 1:21 pm

I don't listen to these things, but my mom was an obstetric nurse. A geriatric pregnancy is generally any pregnancy where the mom will be 35+ when birthing. My mom also had to deal with that language in the 80s with her own pregnancy, but it was 30+ back then. The risks do increase, but the wording feels degrading.

chris1989 wrote:
... a 30 year old woman is already a geriatric mother. ...



Carbonhalo
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21 Sep 2024, 3:52 pm

I didn't get my life sorted until 50 and still managed to miss the parenting boat.



funeralxempire
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21 Sep 2024, 5:03 pm

How many people these days have their s**t sorted out by 30 anyways? :?


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IsabellaLinton
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21 Sep 2024, 6:36 pm

Yeah, I’m almost double that and can’t even find my face half the time.


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IsabellaLinton
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21 Sep 2024, 6:37 pm

lol case in point, just leaned back against a hospital sink which went on automatically by sensor and soaked me in cold water.

:lol:


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funeralxempire
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21 Sep 2024, 7:22 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
lol case in point, just leaned back against a hospital sink which went on automatically by sensor and soaked me in cold water.

:lol:


I see you're also dealing with having your fate written by sitcom writers. :P


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


stratozyck
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21 Sep 2024, 9:20 pm

Blue_Star wrote:
I don't listen to these things, but my mom was an obstetric nurse. A geriatric pregnancy is generally any pregnancy where the mom will be 35+ when birthing. My mom also had to deal with that language in the 80s with her own pregnancy, but it was 30+ back then. The risks do increase, but the wording feels degrading.

chris1989 wrote:
... a 30 year old woman is already a geriatric mother. ...


My wife told me that the definition of geriatric is over 100+ years old (as in that is when it was defined, of course a 100 year old mother would be... odd) and doesn't really apply anymore. Back then women lost a tooth every pregnancy because of vitamin deficiencies. Not today.



IsabellaLinton
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21 Sep 2024, 9:22 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
lol case in point, just leaned back against a hospital sink which went on automatically by sensor and soaked me in cold water.

:lol:


I see you're also dealing with having your fate written by sitcom writers. :P



Julia Louis-Dreyfuss comes to mind.


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pokeystinker
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06 Oct 2024, 4:43 am

If that's the case then I'm f****d.


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zee
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12 Oct 2024, 10:22 am

having your life sorted doesn't mean doing the same thing with your life that others around you are doing.

not everyone should be a parent, even if they are biologically capable, that doesn't mean that they have the skills required (or the financial means, though this doesn't stop many people). if you look at all the worst criminals that exist, the vast majority come from parents who didn't want them or were otherwise incapable.

in the past, for example, many autistic women were forced into motherhood as they had no choice; and many were paired with abusive men or others who would not be able to find a partner in today's society. it is a big step forward, not backwards, that we now have other options... besides the obvious fact that there are already far too many people in the world.



JamesW
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21 Oct 2024, 2:13 am

It's like the old question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

I don't bloody know. Ask me again in ten years.



Tim_Tex
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22 Oct 2024, 1:59 am

Very few people have things sorted out ever, let alone at 30.


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