My neighbors Phil and Anita found love easily

Post Reply New Topic

I swear their love story was handed to them with a golden spoon!! !

They knew each other as kids and then reconnected as adults, started dating then got married and had children

Meanwhile for the rest of us romance-seekers our journey has been hard and LONG!

Because of that I feel a true sense of accomplishment with reaching my marriage goal since I put in a lot of blood, sweat & tears in order to reach this point

Is it bad that I want to see my neighbors' marriage be destroyed as a result of them not putting in the REAL EFFORT needed in order to get there?

Anita even had the gall to give me love advice back when I was single but she has NO IDEA what's it's like to be Autistic and struggling with the process of creating a romantic relationship!! !

Well...I did it though

I am on track to get married now!

They said they want to come to my wedding but maybe I shouldn't invite them?

What do you guys think?

Thanks in advance!! !

I'm not sure why you feel resentful of your neighbours.
They seem like they are just living their lives.
It's not their fault how their story played out.

Your attitude toward your neighbors sounds very childish and immature, and also not very nice at all. Maybe she was making a valid point when she was suggesting that you might not be ready for marriage, and she was trying to use Spongebob as an example you might relate to, of someone who is able to live well without being married (yet).

I'm happy for people when they succeed.

I like how your neighbour seems to know you quite well

I think it'd be a nice gesture to invite them to your wedding

I think you've done really well to find love BTW and you are very lucky

She may be failing to understand, but she's TRYING to understand.
I wouldn't be dismissing her out of hand. Do you have enough friends to discard one for not quite getting you? Are you trying to explain how you feel or filtering to avoid the need?

Please do invite them. Don't hate them. Forgive them all their wrongs, whether real or imagined. Married people don't understand single people. NTs don't understand NDs. And vice versa.

NTs don't know what to say to us, whether it's the right thing or the wrong thing, and whether it will upset us. You nailed it with the SpongeBob stuff. Another NT might think 'Aw, how sweet'. An ND like me might think 'Oh come on, what is this bollocks?!'

As for married people giving relationship advice to single people. Yes, there's nothing more irritating and inappropriate, especially when they try and pair you up with someone they know. I hated that. Now I've found myself doing it as well! I don't think this is an autism thing - NTs hate it as well. They're just a lot better at shrugging it off than we are. They don't think back to something someone said to them 20 years ago and think 'What a jerk! I should sort them out...'

Maybe they feel guilty for having had it easy compared to you. I feel guilty sometimes for getting sober overnight when so many alcoholics didn't make it. A dearly departed and much loved friend of mine told me she felt guilty in the same way for surviving Auschwitz.

You made it. It's a cause for celebration. Enjoy.

Yeah you did well going to the centre and working it all out by yourself

It takes a lot to do that

Yeah

I am proud of myself for making it this far!! !

In reality, Anita did not do anything to actually change my love life or suggest any real solutions other than the therapist

It was my social worker Cathy who got the whole ball rolling with Day Program!! !