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Hello everyone. I'm Michael, a 65 year old male, who just recently self-diagnosed (via multiple assessments, all with the same result) as neurodivergent. I've felt "different" most of my life, and have spent the last 12 years or so trying hard to figure out why. I have been called selfish, arrogant, condescending, narcissistic, an A-hole, and probably a bunch of other things behind my back. I have looked honestly and hard at all of them, but they never felt like they fully explained me.

After friend mentioned the term neurodivergent, I did my own research on the subject, which led me to web site that offered multiple assessments (yes, I took them all!) and they all scored me clearly on the spectrum. My first thought was relief. My second thought was, "see, I'm not a narcissist." My next thought was, why did it take so long to find this out? Now what? What did some of you do once you were diagnosed?

Ahoy-hoy.

Not implying this applies to you, but one can be both autistic and a narcissist, especially if we're using narcissist in the pop-sci/layman sorta way.

Some of the symptoms associated with autism seem likely to predispose one to being perceived as narcissistic and the lack of self-awareness that's typical of autism often means it's harder to communicate to those people when they need to modify their behaviour, which often results in responses that can be viewed as childish, narcissistic or both.

Hey, Michael; welcome to WP ... I hope you find our forum helpful.

Take good care,

exec

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

You are in good company here, there are many late diagnosed individuals on this site that have similar stories to yours.

To answer your question at the end of your post, I was diagnosed at 2 1/2 and found out when I was 8. So I have known most of my life that I'm autistic.

Welcome to WP! I hope you like it here.

I was diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild) in late 2019. Other than my bride and doctors I didn't tell anyone for awhile because I wanted to first share the news with my siblings and then-still-alive-father when we visited for the holidays. None of them really cared.

I've share the information with my medical providers. In general, they don't seem interested.

My bride knows about my diagnosis. When she bumps up against one of my Autism traits I tell her:

I have a doctor's note for that!Um...she is not as amused as I am.

It is still good to know. It explains so much of my life. And I like Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi Michael, welcome to WP

Not_Crazy_Just_Not_You, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

You wrote, "I have been called selfish, arrogant, condescending, narcissistic, an A-hole, and probably a bunch of other things behind my back."

Let me try and explain this, at least from my viewpoint. I do not make eye to eye contact. When I lock at a person I do not look directly into their eyes but rather a little off to one side. Most (neurotypicals) NTs will look directly into the eyes of the person they are talking with. But if you are like me, they will see someone looking off to one side and they will immediately conclude:

This person is a liar, evil, false, stay away from him.

I actually tested this theory a few years ago. I purchased a pair of special one way glasses and wore them in town. These are the same type of glasses that traffic cops used when driving. It prevents people from looking directly into their eyes and making a quick judgement of how the policeman would react. So I went about town wearing these special sunglasses. What happened was unreal. Total strangers would come up to me and begin conversations. This had never happened to me before, and I was amazed.