New here. A little terrified?

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Hello. First day, first post. Scared, nervous, hopeful.

My name is Jeff, and I am A 52 y/o cisgender male, married, 3 kids. I have always been an outsider, but began to suspect something more when, several years ago, people at work began making fun of me because of my aversion to eye contact, aversion to personal contact, and guarding my personal space. Little by little, because I can't not know, I began to research and observe myself more, eventually suspecting heavily that I was on the Autism spectrum.

I recently made the jump to taking several different online tests, and they all turned out the same. I finally told my wife a few weeks ago, and she was not surprised at all. She had suspected this about me herself and discussed it with her therapist. She was waiting and hoping I would figure it out on my own.

Well, I did, and here I am!! I have not yet pursued a formal diagnosis, and I am not sure how I will be received by everyone. Just registering was nerve wracking, and typing this is more difficult. I haven't hit submit yet either!

I do feel a bit better just reading over this. Not sure what to expect?

Ahoy-hoy.

It's a fairly welcoming community, no need to fear.

Hi Jeff, and welcome aboard.

Welcome to WP! I hope you enjoy the company here.

And you made it to 52, got married and had kids, without discovering you are Autistic? That probably qualifies as "High-Functioning". I suspect if you get a formal diagnosis you will find it to be more of a conversation piece than anything else.

Before I was 64 I had no suspicion that I was Autistic and would've considered suggestions otherwise to be stupid and/or rude. While I was 64 happenstance persuaded me to at least read about Autism.

And a few days before my 64th birthday I got my diagnosis:

Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)
with a note that I also met the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.

I decided I wanted to wait until I could tell my siblings and then-still-alive father in person about the diagnosis. What a waste.

My siblings only interest was in how it might give them information about themselves. My then 89 year old Dad was completely disinterested...Asperger's Syndrome wasn't added to the DSM until 1994...the year I turned 40 and the year he turned 64; I guess that from his standpoint it was just some newfangled fad thing. I would have lost nothing by just telling them on the phone.

So far I have found the diagnosis to be little more than a novelty item. At this point I would feel foolish seeking treatment or special accommodations because of it. I hoped knowledge of it would improve communication with my medical providers but, so far, not so much...my medical providers don't seem interested. I have found three positive things from finding out I am Autistic:
▫ A wonderful better understanding of why my life has been like it was.
▫ Wrong Planet.
And, perhaps best:
▫ Whenever my bride bumps into one of my Autistic traits I get to say:
I have a doctor's note for that!

Nonetheless, welcome to WP and I hope you enjoy frequent visits here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey I’m a younger lady & like avoiding eye contact and don’t like when ppl touch me unless I like them a lot then I want them to touch me all the time.
Welcome to the board dude!

Ziggy Stardust, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I agree with what Double Retired said, "And you made it to 52, got married and had kids, without discovering you are Autistic? That probably qualifies as "High-Functioning". I suspect if you get a formal diagnosis you will find it to be more of a conversation piece than anything else."

Most people have skills they are good at (+s), and skills they fail in (-s). Aspies (people with Asperger's Syndrome) are different, Some have ++s and --s. And some are truly amazing because they have +++++s and -----s. They are off the charts. The secret for those who are high functioning is to learn how to use your +s to overcome your -s.

Good points,@jimmy m. I certainly see this especially in my job. I feel insanely suited to machine operator work and do a very good job. People have repeatedly tried to recruit me into admin or management, but I know that would be a disaster. They think because I am “so smart” that I should work at a “higher level”. Not good. I also can’t understand and get so frustrated that other operators can’t see the way I do and perform to my level. It’s like they have no concept and are just going through the motions. Of course, they have a big happy social life, so I guess that’s where they excel!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP! I hope you enjoy spending time here.

apart from the very rare heated argument over relationship stuff and politics its a pretty safe place

welcome