Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

I don't have friends and it's difficult to make them

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Crystal1414
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 25 Aug 2020
Posts: 370
Location: Canada

29 Oct 2024, 11:20 am

I don't really know how to. I've had friends before. Just lately I get anxious. I'm at an age where my differences seem to stand out way more. I don't drive, don't work, and don't really relate. I've been told I should try. I struggled even at an event for Autistic people and ended up crying when I got home.

Sometimes when I am being social I kind of want to go home. I get nervous in public or get overwhelmed. Sometimes I take the bus with people and it stresses me out. I kind of want friends but I don't know if I'm ready.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 73,810
Location: UK

29 Oct 2024, 12:17 pm

I think making friends and relating to people comes with practice

And if you've been isolated for a while then of course you're going to struggle and possibly fall behind others who are your age

I'm like a child irl so I struggle with adults and adults struggle with me...people seem to want to parent so that's my difficulty

I'm wondering if you can find something for maybe an hour a week as routine and then work on that and then build it up slowly

I mean I dunno really I'm making this up as I write


_________________
We have existence


Not_Crazy_Just_Not_You
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 4 Nov 2024
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: NoVA

Yesterday, 6:37 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
I don't really know how to. I've had friends before. Just lately I get anxious. I'm at an age where my differences seem to stand out way more. I don't drive, don't work, and don't really relate. I've been told I should try. I struggled even at an event for Autistic people and ended up crying when I got home.

Sometimes when I am being social I kind of want to go home. I get nervous in public or get overwhelmed. Sometimes I take the bus with people and it stresses me out. I kind of want friends but I don't know if I'm ready.


You are not alone. I have had difficulty making and keeping friends my entire life. I don't usually go out and try to make friends. On the rare occasions when I do, it's usually because I find someone very interesting or intriguing and I end up trying to hard and come across to strong and it turns them off. It never gets easier really, but if you want friends, you need to make some effort, but realize that most folks just aren't like us and it may not last long. And that's ok.



Knight Guard
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 20 Oct 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: US

Today, 2:25 am

This has been a struggle for me as well. It is difficult to relate in small talk in groups. I try to find other people's special interests to connect over, but most people do not have the same level of intensity of special interests as I do normally. It is very easy for people to be put off by my special interests, because of too much info dumping. It wasn't until I received my diagnosis that I was able to connect the dots of how much this has been a common theme throughout my life.
I do not even blame other people anymore about the lack of being able to connect with most people, because I have learned more about the different wiring of autistic minds in general.
Keep trying when you can. Just remember, keep the expectations low for neurotypical people who do not have the same amount of information in regards to autism or how autistic people communicate. That has helped me not have any expectations for relationships and makes it a pleasent surprise when I can actually engage in a few in real life.