Emotional Regulation (Relationship Meltdown)

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Aet1985
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 8 Apr 2020
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 133

09 Nov 2024, 3:21 pm

I had to ''hold it in'' losing my temper or getting upset, I don't know if it's part of being an Aspie. I have about three women interested or at least find me attractive, but the one woman asked another don't you think Anthony is Bonito Man? and I speak a little Spanish and I think she said not interested in Gringos, I am not attracted to her but it's the point, I was insulted in my opinion right to my face. I get confused is it an Aspie trait to have a very good sense of humor, yet take our selves seriously, or a little stoic? I am very hard on myself because the other guy I work with seems to do ok socially, or with women. The other people don't seem to get as angry, and seem to enjoy themselves more, talking and joking, making TikTok videos and so on. I had to go finish my work and ''take it easy''. I don't know if I am the way I am because I could never make relationships work, or years of social issues made me a little unstable.



SocOfAutism
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922

10 Nov 2024, 10:17 am

Especially at work, you did the right thing to hold in your reaction. Aspies do tend to assess some things as being a bit too negative as they are. But it could have been meant in a negative way, so no reaction is always the best bet.

I say work on your scripts for social situations and if you have a male friend, bounce some of these scripts off of him. Make sure any come back is appropriate for the kind of person you are and want to portray, and leaves things open in case you have misunderstood a situation.



Aet1985
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 8 Apr 2020
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 133

10 Nov 2024, 3:13 pm

I obviously don't act like one but the best analogy, I can come up with is at times I feel like a 'T800'' learning the ways of NT's. The social rules, graces, conversations, relationships, body language and faces. I could never understand and not trying to sound arrogant, but I always consider myself very intelligent, calculating and can see and sense stuff NT's can't, yet socially I can be ''lost''.