Do you think getting diagnosed matters?

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I'm very glad I was diagnosed. I just wish I didn't have to become completely miserable and a sociopath and be hospitalized before I was, like many adult female aspies.

People are often very close minded bunch. When they'd heard "disorder" of any kind, they would never look at us as the same. I would have to tell my boss about it which could lead to more problems, or I could potentially lose my job.

Unless one can self diagnose themselves with 100% certainty (not necessarily accuracy or true) enough for one to start said self love and acceptance without diagnosis; really, not everyone can do that.

It's rather ignorant to not consider that not everyone has that type of thinking, that type of 'maturity' nor such comment lead to said maturity.

As far as I observed, those who can do so either has lesser egos but are firm enough to let go off the idea from any label, anyone whose interoception and self awareness isn't emphasized and able to let go off seeking self knowledge (which is a prerequisite itself for NDs, and sometimes a privilege for NTs).

Or the elderly/severely disabled who had either learnt or forced to care less about it anymore.


Me, in another life, undiagnosed; if someone told me that same remark -- does that mean I'll just accept this crappy yet more accurate interpretation of myself?

The unhealed and very much undiagnosed version of me is this possessed narcissistic shite who deserves to get shot, has malicious intentions and no regard for others -- all because of being too hung up over said stupid unprocessed emotions (which is then, NOT voluntary and is likely a symptom of mental illness stuck with me in a rather young age and hadn't been able to end itself until really recently).

"Loving and accepting" at that state??? That'll lead me to an escalating descent to delusion and destruction; that is, if I even live to see past 30 and 'mellow down' for attempting to see myself as being 'not the problem' without any clear concept of what autism, let alone neurodivergence even is.

"Feeling unseen" would be a relatively mild reaction had someone treated me the same way at that particular phase of my life.

At my age, I don't want to spend the time or money on a psychologist to tell me what I already know. I don't think it matters. I think self-diagnosis is entirely possible. I don't see why it should be controversial, other than people think that other people such as me are not capable of reflecting.

It is only in the past 100 years we even had psychologists. How is it all our occasionally autistic ancestors seemed to struggle and make it through this world on their own? Were they tougher than us? I think we are pretty strong and capable. We find ways to adapt, compensate for weaknesses, play to strengths.

It is true I had a tough time in my younger years. I would say, life was hardest of all at age 15. Life gradually got better year after year. In fact, I am happiest now, even though I am over the hill and old.

Key is remaining sober, and reflecting.

If you drink or do drugs, you cannot progress, your brain remains fossilized or rather pickled and you remain fixed in your ways, like a pickle in a jar.

Reflecting means considering strengths and weaknesses. Knowing the areas that I have difficulty with, and making extra effort when needed. Like the avoidance of eye contact, etc. You can compensate for that by intentionally making eye contact. Casual, like.

I will say no one actually came out and told me at 15, hey, you got a little bit of asperger's, or anything else. That is actually helpful data, that is news that you can use. I am not a tender snowflake, just lay it on me, man. I went to see psychologists and counselors a-plenty. Not a one of them told me Jack. None diagnosed me. They had these patient case histories that I was told I had a right to review. When I asked to read them, "oh they are lost, I will try to remember to get them for you next time."

There was one Yale graduate, a shrink that just sat in the chair listening to me jabber for the little 45 minute session. Then, "Well, our time is up. See you next week." Those visits were $85/pop back when $85 was a lot of money. My parents had to pay, which made me feel guilty. I never liked the idea of wasting money, even it was my parent's money, still it was our family's money, and we all have to pull together as a team. I cut the sessions off because I saw it was a huge waste of money, seeing this lazybones with a Doctor's degree from Yale University, who drove a brand new Porsche, and had a fancy office with a secretary in downtown, and did not say Jack to me. He called my father up on the phone, and said we had been making great progress and he thought I should come back for more sessions. We were not making any progress. He never said anything to me other than "Well, we are out of time. See you next week!"

But your mileage may vary.

I thought I got a bit of that after I'd divulged my diagnosis to save my neck at work. I felt that one of them was pitying me, and others were just cutting me some slack instead of expecting a good performance from me while respecting my different nature. I like to be held to high standards as long as I'm able to meet them without damaging my health. I could have been given a much higher-powered role if they'd made the right specific adjustments to enable my professional effectiveness. I did ask the boss about it but he wasn't interested. So there was something of a loss of status, or so I felt. Not surprisingly, I abandoned the job as soon as I could afford to. I don't take kindly to being underestimated.

Getting a specific diagnosis may be helpful if you're looking to understand where on the spectrum your are and how to move forward from there. Be careful who you get treatment from afterwards though, if anyone. I was formally diagnosed at 3 and received a lot of therapy to "correct" different behaviors and make me more socially capable; the results are mixed at best. You should find another psychiatrist if you can or want, and I'm skeptical of the claim that a formal diagnosis on its own has any impact on suicide risk.

It depends. If you feel like you need it, get it. If you feel fine without it, don't. Unfortunately you'll also have to weigh that against how expensive it tends to be.

Edit - I also don't know if there are laws in your country that might make your life harder if you get diagnosed.

I think it depends on your perspective in life.
If you knew you were always different, but didn't know why, it could certainly help.

But, if you were always different. Gender, being really short or really tall, being really smart or not intelligent,
it may not help very much.

Yes if it can give you benefits support.
That's how it has mattered to me.

Good point. In the UK my doctor warned me that if I got diagnosed, it would be on my record and that there could be legal consequences, though I forget what. Possibly life insurance, which I don't want. But after waiting too long for a NHS diagnosis, I panicked and got a private one, and that was entirely confidential, so it was then up to me whether I handed it in for my NHS record or not.

Well done! In the UK there was once a pittance I should have qualified for, called the cooking component of the Disability Living Allowance. But the benefits adjudicator rejected my claim without telling me clearly why. Probably I'd failed to appreciate that I needed "evidence" from the Great And Good (doctor or something) above and beyond my diagnostic report, and naively thought that the benefits people might either accept my assertions as they were, or help me to refine my claim. I suspected they were incentivised to deny claims, but I thought maybe I was being too cynical.

Anyway, after I'd told them I wasn't good on the phone and much preferred written communication, the adjudicator did a surprise attack on the phone and equated my job as a science worker with that of a skilled cook, and not having time to think, I failed to effectively counter that load of nonsense. I could have appealed but without an expert case worker or whatever, it wouldn't have worked, and anyway it was a tiny amount of money and I knew they were going to abolish the allowance soon anyway, so I didn't pursue it. These days they offer nothing AFAIK.

I know people in the USA who have had their claims rejected and have had to get a no-win-no-fee lawyer to help with the appeal, which they've then won, only the lawyer has taken the backdated part of the award. So, both sides of the pond I think the system is heavily rigged against the claimant but with hard work, perseverance, and the right kind of help it's possible to get some of your dues, in the USA at least. Until Trump tightens the screw on welfare.

Another comment on the formal diagnosis itself.

I found the process of getting diagnosed to be silly in many ways.

I was asked to look at pictures in a children's book and asked for my interpretations.
It was one of their methods. I mean.. looking back on it now, it seemed very, very silly.
The woman who administered this test was extremely obese. Perhaps 300lbs+.
I've always kept myself in good physical shape. I found it ironic that I was being tested for an apparent
mental condition by someone who in my opinion was physically and mentally unwell.

The actual diagnosis paper was created by a psychiatrist who I interacted with for no more than a single 1 hour session.

Their official report contained perhaps 50% of information that I felt was accurate, yet also another 50% which I knew to be untrue and which painted me in a very unflattering light.

A diagnosis is a subjective medical opinion. Some of the things the psychiatrist said in my report are extremely degrading and humiliating to read. Some of them are flat out incorrect.

I try not to take it personal. Yet I also know I have the ability to file a complaint about the psychiatrist for what I feel was an unprofessional report in many regards. I've never done so, but it could be something to explore.

Having said that, the main thing the diagnosis achieved for me was that it was the necessary paperwork to be approved for benefits. And at the point in my life when I was finally diagnosed, I had been struggling bouncing from job to job for years and needed a form of support.

I new here and have been thinking about this. The only benefit would be to assure myself. All the self tests and life history pretty much prove it but there is still doubt. Even with a diagnosis what would it change?

Welcome to Wrong Planet

Everybody is different but it could erase the self doubt

No guarantees but you might be able to ask for accommodations such as quieter area, or be given more direct instructiions.

I'm retired so I pretty much isolate at home now.

Same here.