Why do I mislead myself thinking that everyone has better...

Post Reply New Topic

Lives than me ? That everyone is jumping around every day and night to music and partying, seeing lots of sights around the country and world and so on even though a part me knows that can't be entirely true as everyone has to go to work and pay bills etc.

I always seem to find myself also feeling "left out" from events or activities which I don't always enjoy. In the past I was never someone who enjoyed the club scene on a Friday or Saturday night. There were times when there are events going on in my local area during the winter and spring months which attracted lots of people and would go just because of the atmosphere although there were times when I felt left out and quite self conscious because I was on my own even though people were not looking at me, they were looking everywhere and at everybody.

I miss out because I feel like I'm not travelling more, and stuff like that because I won't go for example to New York, Paris etc on my own on my own initiative as most of my travels have been with family.

The problem is that you only see the people who do those things. You don't see the ones who are staying at home and not doing those things, so you really don't know how many are doing them and how many aren't.

Based on the way OP describes a society that seems to spend all it's time traveling and partying, partying and traveling, and leading a traveling partying life, I can only conclude that OP spends too much time on FaceSpace or InstaTwit or TokTube, and mistakes fantasy for real life.

Most people don't live that way, even if the magical media machine makes it look that way.

Most influencers are either liars and frauds, or trust-fund babies jetting around on their rich parents' money.

As for why OP does this to themselves, I can only guess that to them, a world where people are having fun and excitement that they're missing out on, is still a world of fun and excitement, and there's still a possibility of them joining it - whereas acknowledging that the world doesn't actually work that way means that kind of fun and excitement doesn't even actually exist to begin with, for OP to then potentially participate in, or not.

Basically, by believing that everyone else has a better life than you, it allows you to believe that you too could lead a happy and fun life, if only you make the right choices or force yourself into the right situations.

However, by accepting that most people don't live that way, you'd also have to accept that it's far less likely that you too could also live that way. It also means that you'd have to decide things for yourself, instead of simply copying society, thinking it inherently leads to happiness.

Just cos someone doesn't party and travel, doesn't mean they can't have fun and lead a full life.

You have to go out and find things that you personally enjoy.

On the other hand.
I've circled the globe 3 times despite financial hardship. When younger I spent years partying hard. With the resilience of youth there are ways to do it if you're prepared to just wing it, although this doesn't seem to be a spectral strong point.
It took me a lot of masking skill to unearth the opportunities, and a slight contempt for life and limb to generate the courage, but it can be done.
With the current planetary temperament I would further restrict where I want to travel, and after 20 years of reclusion my partying skills are severely atrophied, but with retirement I see the need to rekindle my adventurous spirit.

I can think of 3;

One, it's an illusion. Like social media.
Like, what's behind doors VS shown in public.

Or what was not shown behind every can be either a simple thing to explain or a nightmarish logisitic.
Graceful duck on the surface of pond, paddling like crazy underneath.

It can be remedied by being in the know-hows and not being afraid as a means to break said illusion.


Two, it's a programming.
Sometimes it's a human bias of the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes it's just standards.
All the same, it's a persuasion thru socialization.

Sometimes enough mindfulness is enough, sometimes breaking the illusion could lead to breakdown the subconsicous persuasion.


Three, it's a perception.

Either of someone with lower self-esteem or someone with hyped up expectations of what living should be.

Itself can be a response of coping with something else -- like a hidden primary emotion underneath as a means of the mind distancing itself from it.
It just latched over the obsession over fulfillment through socialization -- kinda like me and fiction; I'm not really into fiction and never a fan of anything, but my head dives itself into fandoms. That's not really me; that's my head and it's coping mechanism. Maybe that's you, only more far into it.

Solution can range from simple self awareness to psychotherapy.
The above can precede and lead the same solution. Maybe not.



You hadn't truly misled yourself.
Not on purpose anyways.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.