would you let your autistic son die a virgin?

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without ever having experienced love? thats the direction im going in right now. online dating never worked out and i cant find anyone to help or care. this is something ive always wanted but could never get growing up and still have very little hope.

Sounds like a pitiful post.
You have to learn to be comfortable in your skin first.
When you love yourself you will attract people who are like you.
Desperate energy repels. Confident energy attracts.
All the answers lie inside you.

I see a lot of posts on Reddit and here from young guys worried about their virginity. It has been a long time since I worried about that. I am trying to remember back when I worried about being a virgin and how I dealt with it.

Virginity was originally meant as a term for unmarried females, and referred to a specific physical state.

In old times, there was not much interest or importance placed on whether males had had sex before or not.

You do not have to tell anyone you are a virgin, and if someone asks you can tell them you would rather not talk about it.

The question you pose in your subject implies that parents are somehow responsible for whether you get any, but they are not.

As for me, I will not go into my experiences because I am not sure whether this is the adult issues forum or not.

I don't think there'd be anything much I could do about it one way or the other. Couldn't arrange a marriage for him. It would be up to women whether or not they wanted him.

My son did tell me when he was approaching 30 years of age that he was worried about never having had a girlfriend. The only thing I could do was to advise him to do things that would bring him into contact with possibly eligible women. Don't know if that helped or not, but within a year or two he'd got a girlfriend and they're still together.

Personally I wouldn't pursue sex for its own sake if I were you. I'd just pursue honest friendship with women. If you grow close enough, everything else will probably follow. It's important to resist the temptation to act desperate, even if you feel desperate. Acting desperate means doing stupid things and that doesn't usually end well.

Just my opinions of course.

If I had an autistic son who was seriously stressing about being a virgin, with little hope of a romantic relationship, I would consider taking him to a brothel.
Desperation is a romance killer and, just maybe, sex would change his presentation enough to matter.
Not that I'd be funding repeat visits.

I'll add to this.
If I had a son one day, I would do my best to support him in all ways.
I would tell him that intercourse is a serious subject and
that he was responsible for anything that became of it.
Meaning he was fully responsible for any pregnancy if he caused it
and was fully responsible for any health complications which could come
from intercourse.

Not to put fear in anyone but these are realities. Intercourse
an intimate experience that is unique and should be exclusive to someone you have a
strong relationship with.

If you engage in causal intercourse, that is your prerogative. It's understandable that
societal pressures on young men can have many feeling depressed and low on self esteem
when they lack intimate experience.

Yet it is on these young men to navigate the world of relationships and women and determine
this course for themselves. It's trial and error.

TLDR it's not your father's responsibility how you navigate this.

TBH, people make far too much of virginity. I know some people do go to brothels to lose their virginity, but doing so really only addresses one issue that most people cease to even care about once they do have sex.

Having sex doesn't really do much at all about human connections and the possibility of dying alone, it doesn't guarantee that anybody is really going to connect with your or that anything other than not being a virgin has changed. People rarely ask about whether or not their friends are virgins, so I'm not even sure how anybody would know if you don't tell them and pretty much the only times when people have any sort of right to know are at the doctor's office or with a significant other that's possibly going to have sex with you. In basically every other case, you can just decline to answer, assuming anybody even asks in the first place.

I feel like right now I'm heading in the same footsteps if my personal trajectory continues. I'm 32, I don't have a job anymore but returned to school for CNC programming, had one GF from 2015-16 but never did anything below the waists. Affectionate touching though and kiss/hugs, but no sort of sexual activity. I talked to my dad a couple of times that I'm sexually frustrated and broached the possibility of going to where legal prostitution is and "buy" one for now, he understood but ultimately disapproved of that idea. I threw it out to mom a couple of times that I wanted a GF and was looking, even asking them to potentially help. But they have their own other priorities, and the most I'm getting from them is "suck it up and take it one day at a time" not their actual words.

I have tried free online dating apps on and off over the many years and out of them all, I get crickets 99.99% of the time.

For what it's worth, I'm a middle-age female (clinical dx of autism almost three years ago), and I'm a virgin. Yes, that's right: I am a virgin. And it's going to stay that way till God calls me home.

I've NEVER, EVER wanted sex, and could never understand how teen girls could be sexually active.

I find the act revolting and repulsive. I have never had a libido.

For the record, I've never been sexually assaulted or violated, nor have I ever witnessed this.

My situation is 100% innate. I think it's how my autism manifests (remember, it's a spectrum).

However, I'm straight, attracted to men only, and would love to snuggle up, cuddle and feel a man's strong muscular arms around me. But nothing in the private area. I have no desire to see "it," let alone touch "it," let alone have it go inside me.

Nobody ever taught me any of this. My parents have always had a good marriage. I hope you all believe me when I say this is 100% innate.

I will not get involved with a man if he wants sex. It's a deal breaker.

Not surprisingly, I've never been married, never had any true boyfriends. And NO, I'm not a repressed lesbian. I have NO attraction to females, and even if I did, I STILL would NOT want any activity "down there."

Right now I have a crush on a lower functioning man, whom I know with 100% certainty probably doesn't even know what sex is. The problem is that his communication is impaired to the extent that he can't initiate actions to pursue a "relationship," and his father probably thinks I'm way too old for him anyways. I'm screwed but must accept that these are the cards I've been dealt.

No, I'd ask him about his situation and remind him it sure sounds like he's been f****d.

It would be 100% at his discretion if he wants to stay a virgin indefinitely or not!! !

I have personally done a good job at preserving my virginity up until my fiance David took it away...and honestly even though it IS a big deal & major life milestone to have penetrative sex for the first time (losing your virginity) I still feel like the same person I have always been!

Nothing other than my sex life has truly changed

Marriage or a job on the other hand...

Yes, I never had sex. I’m closing in on the end of life at 67, especially with my health issues(I’m overweight, diabetic, suffer from stage 3a chronic kidney disease, hypertension, sleep apnea, congestive heart failure, ptsd, and, of course, level 1 autism. When I was12 or 13, I was in the local Boy Scout troop, and went on a hayride. During that ride, some of older boys brought their dates. During the drive, some of the girls decided to stick their hands in my pants. When I said something to my parents, I was severely punished for allowing that to happen. As I got older, dating was even more traumatic, since, even though I wanted to be left alone,I was always being attacked by 3 different gangs of sisters, either physically or sexually. What’s worse, I was the scapegoat to my father, who was narcissistic. I finally said enough was too much, and stayed locked in my room. I never got over that fear, to this day.

So yes, I’ll die a virgin. Everything that happened to me, according to my parents, is my fault.