When did you realize people don't like you?

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1 st grade was suspicious of this , by second grade was pretty sure . Never got picked for any group kickball avtivities by either team. Then finding on the recess feild area in the entire elementary school years all of them. Only 2 people on two seperate occassions ever talked to me. Still was slow to pick up on this ,because time at school was much better than what was happening at home. Not until my twenties started to figure out to even try to mask . Started practicing smiling in the mirror ...took another twenty years to get acceptable @ masking . And much personal work.
As long as am not forced into new interactions with strangers for extended periods of time. Can mask acceptably

When I was a kid.

Nobody wanted to play with me when I didn't bring out my toys, so they could. Then later in school, they've made friends of groups, but I was not included in any of those. I have tried, but without success. I was laughed at, cause of my behavior and appearance.

Later in high school I have made a friend, but it was just because we were both nerds and outsiders, but she was still more outgoing like I was.

I thought it was better in adulthood, till I have found out my colleagues speak about me behind my back, and not nice things.

After this revelation, I told myself, It's not my fault they don't like. And if you don't like, it's your problem, not mine. I will not change myself for someone.

The thing that I find interesting is that I don't think even ASD people like each other. However, I do prefer direct people

Ye, this is real nasty part is you'd think asd gang together but don't. Even just relating or talking can be difficult.
I noticed I masked less as teen, everything I said and did was unpopular, then when tried fitting in and saying less I just didn't do small talk and click what everyone was doing. At first I'd get invited, but after a while I got out, they not talking to me, they moving away. Same with my son, at first invited but don't fit in.

It could have been when I started getting made fun of growing up by classmates. When you realize someone sees you as different and tries to make unnecessary comments that make you know they see you that way… when they make jokes at your expense and laugh at you. And you feel hurt inside and start feeling self conscious and feel you have to do or be someone different.