Worried I should have kids and finding my nephew annoying

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My sister and my mum have explained to me in the past, after my 4 year old nephew has one of his tantrums or hyper moments ''Well do you still want kids? That's what you have got to put up with.'' There have been times when he is not too bad but there are moments when he is very hyper, running and following people around. I don't always like it when he enters my bedroom seeing what I am up to and don't feel very keen on seeing or touching things in my room.

I don't know why I get these thoughts on both sides of my brain telling to have kids regardless of wanting them or not simply because I've seen my sister and other peers having them and another part of me strongly feels unready for children but I feel ''bad'' as though I feel I ''should be ready'' by now.

I have no idea why people say things like that (my parents, relatives, coworkers, etc., used to say the same thing to me). Boggles the mind.

My husband will be the first to tell anyone that the only kids he likes are his own. I get the feeling that's a pretty normal thing. He was certain he wanted them, with me, despite not liking anyone else's.

Incidentally, we also have a similarly-aged nephew, and my husband cannot stand him (the little boy is quite challenging, which I don't say lightly, being a mom of several ASD kidlets). And it's not due to lack of experience or patience with children.



Boy, does that sound familiar.



You are totally not alone in this struggle. Folks are ready when they're ready, some never are, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. At all.

In my opinion, it is a Biological urge brought on by nature... I felt it too around my 20s & 30s, I think it is the body. It is why we are here today, our ancestors felt it too.

There are things in our mind that are our own, and other things that arise from the body.

My decision was most emphatic, to NOT have children, and not even risk it by any means. I reflected on my childhood and troubles in school and at home & decided it would be most unfortunate to inflict that kind of unpleasantness on another soul.

However, maybe it was just being too tired? I am rather easily fatigued. Plenty of our ancestors endured worse conditions than I did and had kids anyway. I guess everything is a matter of perspective, which viewpoint you want to take.

I would recommend caution, once you have a kid, your entire life changes forever irrevocably.