When did you realize people don't like you?

Page 4 of 4 [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,790
Location: Outter Quadrant

15 Nov 2024, 9:49 am

1 st grade was suspicious of this , by second grade was pretty sure . Never got picked for any group kickball avtivities by either team. Then finding on the recess feild area in the entire elementary school years all of them. Only 2 people on two seperate occassions ever talked to me. Still was slow to pick up on this ,because time at school was much better than what was happening at home. Not until my twenties started to figure out to even try to mask . Started practicing smiling in the mirror ...took another twenty years to get acceptable @ masking . And much personal work.
As long as am not forced into new interactions with strangers for extended periods of time. Can mask acceptably :roll:


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


BoundlessMind_32
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 9 Nov 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 38
Location: Slovakia

15 Nov 2024, 12:59 pm

When I was a kid.

Nobody wanted to play with me when I didn't bring out my toys, so they could. Then later in school, they've made friends of groups, but I was not included in any of those. I have tried, but without success. I was laughed at, cause of my behavior and appearance.

Later in high school I have made a friend, but it was just because we were both nerds and outsiders, but she was still more outgoing like I was.

I thought it was better in adulthood, till I have found out my colleagues speak about me behind my back, and not nice things.

After this revelation, I told myself, It's not my fault they don't like. And if you don't like, it's your problem, not mine. I will not change myself for someone.



Ursula
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2024
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 163
Location: South africa

15 Nov 2024, 8:25 pm

The thing that I find interesting is that I don't think even ASD people like each other. However, I do prefer direct people

Ye, this is real nasty part is you'd think asd gang together but don't. Even just relating or talking can be difficult.
I noticed I masked less as teen, everything I said and did was unpopular, then when tried fitting in and saying less I just didn't do small talk and click what everyone was doing. At first I'd get invited, but after a while I got out, they not talking to me, they moving away. Same with my son, at first invited but don't fit in.



physicallycreepy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 5 Nov 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 56

15 Nov 2024, 9:18 pm

It could have been when I started getting made fun of growing up by classmates. When you realize someone sees you as different and tries to make unnecessary comments that make you know they see you that way… when they make jokes at your expense and laugh at you. And you feel hurt inside and start feeling self conscious and feel you have to do or be someone different.



physicallycreepy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 5 Nov 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 56

15 Nov 2024, 9:21 pm

JamesW wrote:
Just after I started school, aged 5. A kid had a bag of sweets and gave one to everyone in the class. When he came to me, he looked me in the eyes, smiled, and shook his head.

That was when I started learning to mask.

That’s so sad. Yes it’s the little things that show us that someone or multiple someone’s see us as different and not worthy of the same love and tenderness and respect and care.



Ziggy Stardust
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2024
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 29
Location: Western North Carolina, USA

Today, 11:32 am

I can’t say that there was a specific time, but it was more of a gradual realization that I somehow repulsed people for no apparent reason. I was somewhere in my 30s when I began to notice that people treated me differently and seemed uncomfortable in my presence, even though I felt I was being polite and respectful. This was WAY before I had any idea that I could have Asperger’s, so I was baffled for years as to what was wrong with me! Now I know that I am not very good at masking, and the NTs I meet must sense that something is not genuine about me. The few people who I trust and can tentatively call friends seem to be somewhat ND themselves, or are familiar with people’s quirks so they don’t care. Plus, since I can be open with them, they see mostly, at least, the unmasked me and seem to accept that.



Conspiracy
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 34
Location: Wales

Today, 11:39 am

When I was in primary school I chose to play on my own a lot of the time. I did have friends who liked me though. It wasn’t until year 5 (aged 9) a new girl came to my school and started bullying me, she’d lie to the teacher and say I did/said things to her I didn’t and the teacher believed her. When I got to high school things went downhill pretty quickly and a lot of people bullied me. Teenagers can be awful.



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,380
Location: United Kingdom

Today, 12:09 pm

Conspiracy wrote:
When I was in primary school I chose to play on my own a lot of the time. I did have friends who liked me though. It wasn’t until year 5 (aged 9) a new girl came to my school and started bullying me, she’d lie to the teacher and say I did/said things to her I didn’t and the teacher believed her. When I got to high school things went downhill pretty quickly and a lot of people bullied me. Teenagers can be awful.


I am sorry to hear of your negative experiences at school, conspiracy!

That is sad, but I think it is a fairly common experience for people on the spectrum, unfortunately. :(



Conspiracy
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 34
Location: Wales

Today, 12:14 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Conspiracy wrote:
When I was in primary school I chose to play on my own a lot of the time. I did have friends who liked me though. It wasn’t until year 5 (aged 9) a new girl came to my school and started bullying me, she’d lie to the teacher and say I did/said things to her I didn’t and the teacher believed her. When I got to high school things went downhill pretty quickly and a lot of people bullied me. Teenagers can be awful.


I am sorry to hear of your negative experiences at school, conspiracy!

That is sad, but I think it is a fairly common experience for people on the spectrum, unfortunately. :(

I’d like to say I’m over it but I’m not really. The last two years of high school wasn’t as bad because I finally made a group of weirdo outsider friends. I was still bullied but at least I had friends to distract me.



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,380
Location: United Kingdom

Today, 12:15 pm

I was bullied somewhat in high school, also. I mostly experienced verbal bullying, but occasionally things got physical.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 35,838
Location: Long Island, New York

12 minutes ago

My worst years for being bullied were 5th through 8th grades and Freshmen and Sophomore years of college.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman