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Have you been in a romantic relationship with another Aspie?

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Mikurotoro92
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11 Nov 2024, 10:36 pm

^I don't think you can have one without the other...


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MaxE
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12 Nov 2024, 10:45 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
^I don't think you can have one without the other...

Apparently there are people on the asexuality spectrum who are looking for soul mates but don't want physical intimacy with them. A lot of ASD women would seem to be in this situation.


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RetroGamer87
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13 Nov 2024, 7:26 pm

No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


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blitzkrieg
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13 Nov 2024, 7:44 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


Are you actually a crappy partner, or might this be a self-esteem issue? :chin:



RetroGamer87
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13 Nov 2024, 8:15 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


Are you actually a crappy partner, or might this be a self-esteem issue? :chin:


I'm a terrible partner, according to my partner. But maybe I should take her views with a grain of salt.

(also I have pretty low self-esteem)


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Elwyn
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15 Nov 2024, 1:05 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.



I feel like I am a difficult partner. Lots of miscommunication and sensitivities that send me into meltdowns, which is not fun for anyone.



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15 Nov 2024, 1:06 am

Rhapsody wrote:
So, nobody I've been in a romantic relationship with was diagnosed autistic or ADHD, but I had my suspicions and so did they. In my case the communication issues were compounded. I was bad at communicating. They were bad at communicating. We bad communicated ourselves into breakups. :skull:

I've never dated anybody who was NT to compare so I have no way of knowing if I'd prefer them, but it's entirely possible I'd just bad communicate myself into another breakup. Since I'm the common denominator.


Aw, that's what I was wondering... if the communication issues could be compounded.



WantToHaveALife
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17 Nov 2024, 1:48 pm

i would only be open to one just as long as she is either not asexual or just doesn't have issues/problems with sex/intimacy.



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Yesterday, 8:50 am

Yeah, a 10 year relationship and it wasn’t good lol it lasted way longer than it ever should have too.



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Yesterday, 1:06 pm

Im married to an AuADHD person.

Our profiles are way different but we understand each other well and it works just fine.

Its the first time Ive been in a relationship where there are no issues or conflicts about personal space, jealousy or emotional blackmail and manipulation.

For us, it works.


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WantToHaveALife
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Yesterday, 4:50 pm

yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.



funeralxempire
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Yesterday, 5:06 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


So, you seem to be admitting that there was intimacy, just not of the type you were hoping for.


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Mikurotoro92
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Yesterday, 6:12 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


Maybe they just aren't ready for the next step?

Some people on the spectrum (and even neuro-typicals!! !) are not comfortable with full-on sex and intimacy so they need to be eased into it VERY VERY VERY ***slowly***...


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MaxE
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Yesterday, 10:04 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Maybe they just aren't ready for the next step?

Some people on the spectrum (and even neuro-typicals!! !) are not comfortable with full-on sex and intimacy so they need to be eased into it VERY VERY VERY ***slowly***...

It happens I've never had that experience with anyone of any neurotype. Not that you're wrong, I just haven't experienced it personally. I've only gotten "pushback" from people who weren't that interested in me, or had lost interest.


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