would you let your autistic son die a virgin?

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MatchboxVagabond
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14 Nov 2024, 11:27 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
If he's not interested in sex, I would.

If that's in response to me, fair enough. In that case, there isn't really any issue.



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15 Nov 2024, 9:55 pm

Im not saying that man with job responsibility agrees with everyone, but seems to effectively work for most.
So many autistic males had got married as had careers, but meltdowns and family issues seemed to be noticeable issues. I think dating NT complicated relationship, so asd couples can decide if having kids, who's paying.

So best option is to work, live independently and try meet someone via methods work for you.
Good luck



y-pod
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23 Nov 2024, 6:39 am

Would you rather have an arranged marriage? I think that's how my ancestors reproduced. :)

It's not too bad for men. Just focus on working and making money and women would follow. Men are marrying beautiful girls in their 40s and 50s nowadays. We have a cousin who just married at 46. He's got a cushy job, his own house and plenty of savings. Another cousin who's a medical doctor who married a rich man in his 50s. They have two beautiful kids now and live in a lavish mansion.

Of course I personally don't believe in romantic love. Girls are practical and want to be with successful men.The most warm, charming man I know is always unemployed and he didn't have much luck in love.


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23 Nov 2024, 2:13 pm

y-pod wrote:
Would you rather have an arranged marriage? I think that's how my ancestors reproduced. :)

It's not too bad for men. Just focus on working and making money and women would follow. Men are marrying beautiful girls in their 40s and 50s nowadays. We have a cousin who just married at 46. He's got a cushy job, his own house and plenty of savings. Another cousin who's a medical doctor who married a rich man in his 50s. They have two beautiful kids now and live in a lavish mansion.

Of course I personally don't believe in romantic love. Girls are practical and want to be with successful men.The most warm, charming man I know is always unemployed and he didn't have much luck in love.


Wow, I didn't expect that to come from a woman.



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24 Nov 2024, 2:50 pm

y-pod wrote:
Would you rather have an arranged marriage? I think that's how my ancestors reproduced. :)

It's not too bad for men. Just focus on working and making money and women would follow. Men are marrying beautiful girls in their 40s and 50s nowadays. We have a cousin who just married at 46. He's got a cushy job, his own house and plenty of savings. Another cousin who's a medical doctor who married a rich man in his 50s. They have two beautiful kids now and live in a lavish mansion.

Of course I personally don't believe in romantic love. Girls are practical and want to be with successful men.The most warm, charming man I know is always unemployed and he didn't have much luck in love.


Housing has doubled or tripled from it was 40 years ago in the developed countries, so less young persons can buy a house or it will take until their 30s or 40s to save and work for one. I think there are still people under 30 that own their own house, but I don't know what they are doing different from those that don't have a house, except that they may be super vigilant budgeters. Add other things doubling or more on top of this.

The economy is exacerbating all of it. And since everything is twice or more as expensive, those that make a single wrong budgeting decision can make a mistake setting themselves back big.


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bee33
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24 Nov 2024, 3:09 pm

y-pod wrote:
Of course I personally don't believe in romantic love. Girls are practical and want to be with successful men.The most warm, charming man I know is always unemployed and he didn't have much luck in love.

Wow, I strongly disagree with that. And you say "of course"? I guess your one acquaintance has been unlucky but that certainly isn't enough to base a broad opinion on. I certainly believe in romantic love and have had two wonderful long term relationships, both with men who were not financially successful when I knew them (one of them died), and I currently have a wonderful partner, who also is not financially wealthy.



MatchboxVagabond
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Yesterday, 1:42 am

y-pod wrote:
Would you rather have an arranged marriage? I think that's how my ancestors reproduced. :)

It's not too bad for men. Just focus on working and making money and women would follow. Men are marrying beautiful girls in their 40s and 50s nowadays. We have a cousin who just married at 46. He's got a cushy job, his own house and plenty of savings. Another cousin who's a medical doctor who married a rich man in his 50s. They have two beautiful kids now and live in a lavish mansion.

Of course I personally don't believe in romantic love. Girls are practical and want to be with successful men.The most warm, charming man I know is always unemployed and he didn't have much luck in love.

I essentially had one. I think the practice gets a bit of a bad rap from all the times when the match was made for reasons other than creating a happy couple. But, when done properly, it's arguably better as humans do bond, it's not like it's normal to have love at first sight and then happily ever after. And most people are terrible judges of what they want.



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Yesterday, 3:03 am

If I had a male child and he was thirsty I let him have a drink; I wouldn't moralize; I would take him to a place where he could quench his thirst.



y-pod
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Yesterday, 5:33 am

bee33 wrote:
Wow, I strongly disagree with that. And you say "of course"? I guess your one acquaintance has been unlucky but that certainly isn't enough to base a broad opinion on. I certainly believe in romantic love and have had two wonderful long term relationships, both with men who were not financially successful when I knew them (one of them died), and I currently have a wonderful partner, who also is not financially wealthy.


I mostly meant for us aspies it's much harder to try to win people's hearts with those elusive things like charm or wit or chemistry. It's much easier to improve yourself so you have a solid financial basis for a partner and a family. Especially if you're out school and working.


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y-pod
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Yesterday, 6:04 am

I admit that I didn't follow my own advice and chose a guy when he was dirt poor. :) I did factor in his character and earning potentials before "going steady" with him. A good person willing to work hard would not stay poor.

But the world is quite different now and people seem so material. Maybe romance is still driving relationships, but it sure feels like money is driving them nowadays. 8O


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Yesterday, 6:38 am

I guess different people find different things important. Money/earning potential isn’t something I’ve ever cared about when it comes to relationships. For me, it’s about love, character, having things in common, and having reasonably compatible life goals. When I say character, I mean stuff like kindness, empathy, a keen sense of humor, intelligence, integrity, open-mindedness, etc.

I think romance and love are still driving relationships for a lot of people. Even poor people very often find love.

y-pod wrote:
A good person willing to work hard would not stay poor.

That’s not necessarily true. Sometimes people have disabilities or are disenfranchised in some way which can inhibit their ability to achieve financial success even if they are willing to work hard.



blitzkrieg
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Yesterday, 8:11 am

y-pod wrote:
I admit that I didn't follow my own advice and chose a guy when he was dirt poor. :) I did factor in his character and earning potentials before "going steady" with him. A good person willing to work hard would not stay poor.

But the world is quite different now and people seem so material. Maybe romance is still driving relationships, but it sure feels like money is driving them nowadays. 8O


Money definitely drives some women to the point where they think a relationship is "worth it". I have read many articles in popular media publications that delve into what women want from a relationship, and some women lament that men today "aren't good enough" and in some cases they cite the reason that men don't work hard enough, or aren't as financially successful or commited as they should be, as reasons for why they are supposedly not good enough.

Considering how many woman folk exist however, inevitably, that isn't the opinion of all women and there are still plenty of women who are less materialistic and who don't care at all about a man's financial worth, and appreciate other positive characteristics that a man might have.



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Yesterday, 5:03 pm

123autism wrote:
Sounds like a pitiful post.
You have to learn to be comfortable in your skin first.
When you love yourself you will attract people who are like you.
Desperate energy repels. Confident energy attracts.
All the answers lie inside you.



Not always. Some people are just unattractive, or are meant to be alone forever. It isn't as simple as just loving yourself and you will be attractive to others. If you love yourself enough you just might not care.



Mikurotoro92
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Yesterday, 7:56 pm

Pink Zeppelin wrote:
123autism wrote:
Sounds like a pitiful post.
You have to learn to be comfortable in your skin first.
When you love yourself you will attract people who are like you.
Desperate energy repels. Confident energy attracts.
All the answers lie inside you.



Not always. Some people are just unattractive, or are meant to be alone forever. It isn't as simple as just loving yourself and you will be attractive to others. If you love yourself enough you just might not care.


That is not neccessarily true though

There is someone out there for everyone!! !

Autistic or not

It just takes longer for some people to find love but I am proof that it is NOT impossible!

Working on yourself will help you be more attractive too :heart: :heart: :heart:



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Today, 12:03 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Pink Zeppelin wrote:
123autism wrote:
Sounds like a pitiful post.
You have to learn to be comfortable in your skin first.
When you love yourself you will attract people who are like you.
Desperate energy repels. Confident energy attracts.
All the answers lie inside you.



Not always. Some people are just unattractive, or are meant to be alone forever. It isn't as simple as just loving yourself and you will be attractive to others. If you love yourself enough you just might not care.


That is not neccessarily true though

There is someone out there for everyone!! !

Autistic or not

It just takes longer for some people to find love but I am proof that it is NOT impossible!

Working on yourself will help you be more attractive too :heart: :heart: :heart:


Oh BS, what about all the people that die as unloved virgins every year? Did they just not look hard enough for their true love? Oh, too bad Steve your match was a African tribes woman that lived in a grass hut. Leave no stone unturned as they say.