Are ruthless guys more attractive than kind, good guys?

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Cornflake
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17 Nov 2024, 8:07 am

 ! Cornflake wrote:
This thread risks going the same way as so many others: generalizing, mansplaining and ignoring/handwaving women's contributions.

The question posed by the thread directly affects women (it hasn't yet addressed how gay or bisexual men might feel) so it seems obvious that the input from the affected parties is crucial if the topic is to go anywhere productive.

So please, go somewhere constructive and productive with it.


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SailorsGuy12
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26 Nov 2024, 6:31 pm

Fnord wrote:
By "Ruthless", does the OP mean "Cruel and lacking in mercy", or does the OP mean "Decisive, with high standards"?

A man who can think for himself, who can make plans and carry them out, who is not swayed by emotional arguments lacking in facts, and who does not need to boost his ego with a "trophy" wife or girlfriend is sometimes called "ruthless".

In other words, being "ruthless" is erroneously applied to any single man who is both independent and successful.  Such men are considered attractive for their wealth and influence, if not their personalities.


What is wrong with wanting a "hot" girlfriend or spouse?


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26 Nov 2024, 6:35 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^ What typically happens on WP when members make generalizations about gender or mansplain? Just something to think about.


And how is the term 'mansplain' not a generalization? It has the term 'man' in it = used as a slur to mock things a man says or does.


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26 Nov 2024, 6:41 pm

SailorsGuy12 wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^ What typically happens on WP when members make generalizations about gender or mansplain? Just something to think about.


And how is the term 'mansplain' not a generalization? It has the term 'man' in it = used as a slur to mock things a man says or does.


It's usually used for a man explaining to a woman some aspect of her experience or expertise.


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Cornflake
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26 Nov 2024, 6:43 pm

A word containing "man" does not make it a generalization.

Perhaps a definition would help:
Mansplain; verb: (of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.

Thus far, it describes a type of behavior seen in men only.
I've yet to hear of an instance when "womansplain" might be used...


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blitzkrieg
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26 Nov 2024, 6:55 pm

Sometimes people have communication styles that are knowledge driven and they might be inclined to share their own thought processes to a man... or a woman. This sometimes starts with brief summaries of foundational knowledge and common ground.

The knowledge imparting part is something that men can have a problem with, when the knowledge is being received by a woman, who might perceive this as a sexist conversation, even if it wasn't intended to be on the man's part.



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26 Nov 2024, 6:58 pm

Sometimes something can be sexist, racist, etc. even if there was no intention to be so. I think awareness can help with that. It’s not always intuitive why something could be problematic, especially depending on one’s background or environment.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 26 Nov 2024, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SailorsGuy12
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26 Nov 2024, 6:59 pm

Cornflake wrote:
A word containing "man" does not make it a generalization.

Perhaps a definition would help:
Mansplain; verb: (of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.

Thus far, it describes a type of behavior seen in men only.
I've yet to hear of an instance when "womansplain" might be used...


That seems like it implies that only men can be condescending and patronizing to the other gender. Which is not true. And it rises the question why is there no "womansplain" term?


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SailorsGuy12
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26 Nov 2024, 7:02 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Sometimes something can be sexist, racist, etc. even if there was no intention to be so. I think awareness can help with that. It’s not always intuitive why something could be hurtful on some level, especially depending on one’s background or environment.


This kind of thinking can lead down a slippery slope to banning or censorship of ideas or speech because one person feels mildly frustrated by it.

Is it classist to wealthy people to simply state that the top 1% or so hold the majority of wealth?


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26 Nov 2024, 7:05 pm

SailorsGuy12 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
By "Ruthless", does the OP mean "Cruel and lacking in mercy", or does the OP mean "Decisive, with high standards"?

A man who can think for himself, who can make plans and carry them out, who is not swayed by emotional arguments lacking in facts, and who does not need to boost his ego with a "trophy" wife or girlfriend is sometimes called "ruthless".

In other words, being "ruthless" is erroneously applied to any single man who is both independent and successful.  Such men are considered attractive for their wealth and influence, if not their personalities.


What is wrong with wanting a "hot" girlfriend or spouse?

Where does it say that?

I think your posts are intentionally obnoxious and that you are saying things that you yourself know are inaccurate and untrue.



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26 Nov 2024, 7:10 pm

Sometimes a guy shares his knowledge with a woman, because he wants her to know that he knows the basic knowledge of a topic at hand.

I wonder if in these scenarios a woman might sometimes interpret this sort of thing as mansplaining, thinking that the man thinks that she doesn't know what he is telling her already, rather than clarifying his own position of knowledge?

:chin:



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26 Nov 2024, 7:33 pm

^ Sometimes, probably - but the existence of the word "mansplaining" appears to indicate the condescending or patronizing aspect is prevalent with men.


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TwilightPrincess
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26 Nov 2024, 7:36 pm

^^ There are ways to do the above without making it appear like mansplaining. Framing whatever it might be as a question rather than as a statement about her experience or women in general could help. Qualifiers can be useful, too, rather than make firm statements. It depends somewhat on the particular topic/conversation.

Something is mansplaining if it’s condescending in some way. Telling women what it’s like to be a woman will often be considered mansplaining no matter what the intention might be. Something can be mansplaining even if it wasn’t intended to be. That’s most often the case. For that matter, most people who have beliefs that are racist, sexist, homophobic, or whatever usually think their beliefs and intentions are good. That doesn’t necessarily connect to mansplaining, but I think it’s important. Very few people want to recognize this stuff. They’d rather demonize the terms “racist” and “sexist” or whatever and believe they are much less common than they truly are. People can be nice and decent in many respects but have some form of bigotry just the same. Even more often, people don’t want to admit that something was mansplaining or sexist, perhaps because of the stigma. A person can commit faux pas like mansplaining without being a bad person.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 26 Nov 2024, 7:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Cornflake
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26 Nov 2024, 7:41 pm

SailorsGuy12 wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
A word containing "man" does not make it a generalization.

Perhaps a definition would help:
Mansplain; verb: (of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.

Thus far, it describes a type of behavior seen in men only.
I've yet to hear of an instance when "womansplain" might be used...
That seems like it implies that only men can be condescending and patronizing to the other gender. Which is not true.
It's describing something that happens with a man.
But I suspect you're attempting to stretch the point just because you can. Don't do that.

Quote:
And it rises the question why is there no "womansplain" term?
Because "mansplain" accurately describes a specific phenomenon?

Your question should be - why are women not frequently labeled as explaining something in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing?
It may be because... they don't do it frequently enough to be noticed and attract a specific label for that behavior.


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27 Nov 2024, 2:22 pm

Is this still a thread about the attractiveness of ruthless guys versus good guys? :?


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27 Nov 2024, 2:52 pm

BillyTree wrote:
Is this still a thread about the attractiveness of ruthless guys versus good guys? :?



good Question ... ?.....and I think the definition of Ruthless is exactly what it means..... ! Not to mince words but if someone was described as ruthless to me . I might consider having someone investigate him..before, I even met him . Usually that ,,,in a given personsdescription, I would not even consider any time for them .


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