I have struggles with thinking I'm under surveillance. I ask other people sometimes, yet don't fully believe them. It's frustrating. It's like fog honestly. I cannot see clearly sometimes. It's frustrating and embarrassing. I'll get repetitive and keep asking. I end up apologizing. It sometimes involves thinking I'm being stalked, watched by neighbours etc. Im feeling like some are starting to think I'm weird. I go outside and pick up pieces of random garbage sometimes thinking it's being left for me.
I'll think scam calls I don't pick up are a stalker. People have started getting concerned. They tell me not to go down that rabbit hole. Sometimes it turns into anger and I start swearing or panicking in frustration. It's embarrassing. I start to read into things way too much.
Honestly Im a little worried about my writing tbh. I wrote over 75 poems and things in under a month. Now I'm starting to think it's not rooted in reality as I started reading some of it. It didn't make much sense. But I am a bit scared to tell people. I don't want to be embarrassed. I am writing for fun though.
Today, 1:26 pm
