What makes autistics happy and living good lives?

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ToughDiamond
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11 Dec 2024, 10:32 am

I'm not sure there's a lot of difference between what makes autistics happy and what makes neurotypicals happy. Certainly I don't see anything unusual in what I would like.

These aren't in order of priority:

1. Financial security, though it's hard to set a particular figure on it, because life is unpredictable.
2. Fascinating things to do and experience.
3. Goals to strive for. They don't have to be big ones.
4. Bodily health.
5. A good, close relationship.
6. Several good friends.
7. Enjoyable food.
8. Reasonable freedom.
9. A degree of responsibility and duty.

To some extent I've got these things, which probably explains why I'm fairly happy. Not deleriously happy, but rarely in low spirits.



CockneyRebel
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12 Dec 2024, 6:21 am

My three closest friends, my hobbies, cooking, watching a good show on TV.


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12 Dec 2024, 1:34 pm

I need to be believed and respected. I don't require people to agree with me on everything but I cannot tolerate that people challenge my ability to exist.


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Mikurotoro92
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12 Dec 2024, 8:33 pm

I would NOT put "marriage and children" because that is cliche and doesn't make sense for most Autistic people

Instead, a job/career you really love and special interests/hobbies



BTDT
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12 Dec 2024, 9:09 pm

Having a mortgage wasn't any better for me than living in one bedroom apartment with enough savings to live on for a couple years. I did a lot of travel back then and would be out of state at least half a dozen weekends each year.



Pink Zeppelin
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12 Dec 2024, 9:40 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
I really wouldn't know, but I think accepting yourself for who and what you are, and having family and friends who do also, is a good start. Too bad the rest of the NT world seems unaware of this.


Why do you think NTs aren't aware of this? I think many are



Texasmoneyman300
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Yesterday, 1:18 am

Having a wife and kids would make me happy.



Double Retired
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Yesterday, 5:58 pm

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Having a wife and kids would make me happy.

Not all wives make their husband happy.

My Mom made my Dad happy. My bride makes me happy. We are lucky.


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Yesterday, 6:50 pm

I am lucky that I get along well with my wife. There are times I still can't believe I am married. Didn't do very well with girls until my 30s



Double Retired
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Yesterday, 7:17 pm

Pink Zeppelin wrote:
...until my 30s
Sigh. You make me look like a late-bloomer.

I'd given up on girls about the time I reached 40. It was sheer dumb luck that I met my future bride at a party when we were both 43...after which I never expected to see her again. It was more sheer dumb luck that she had enough information to find me again three months later when she wanted a favor and realized I probably had the connections to help her...and more sheer dumb luck that I deduced a second favor I could do for her that required us to meet in person.

Oh, yes, I'm on the Autism Spectrum and my Autism comes with face-blindness...which made meeting her in a large parking lot somewhat iffy. She assures me that she was the gal I was supposed to meet (my face-blindness means I didn't know!).

And we make each other happy.

Despite my Autism and her ADHD...which just add interest to the mix.


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MjrMajorMajor
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Yesterday, 9:38 pm

Stability and security are important for me. Emotional connection, art, intelligence and dedication really make me appreciate the life I have.



Texasmoneyman300
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Today, 1:36 am

Double Retired wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Having a wife and kids would make me happy.

Not all wives make their husband happy.

My Mom made my Dad happy. My bride makes me happy. We are lucky.

Very true. Hopefully I will be lucky as well.



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Today, 5:50 am

rdos wrote:
After several failures with publications and potential University affiliations this year, I think it is time to research the very important issue of how autistics can live good lives, and then try to publish it.

So, post what you believe would make you happy and live a fullfilling life. I might use some of these suggestions in my research if I find them reasonable & interesting.


I think that independence made for me a good, happy and fulfilling life. It is helpful to have control over the environment, including light, sound, and smells. I like the light dim, the sound minimal, and no smells.


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