What am I doing wrong to explain less luck with dating?

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I've been on several dating sites but not really had any luck or gone out with someone from a dating site. I get some views but few messages. I did once speak to someone from a dating site during the pandemic and invited me to go on Snapchat but I hesitated because there were antiviral messages and things and it buffered sometimes trying to get on. The thing is unlike other people I don't really take many pictures of myself as used to when I started using social media and post them on social media or on a dating app. I'm on Instagram but there are no selfies of myself and haven't really properly set it up and seem to feel not really very interested and don't get the time because I'm doing other things like hobbies, working and so on.

I sometimes feel because I get few or no likes and things on dating, I feel like a stereotypical nerdy weirdo and I don't look like some well groomed, Clark Kent-looking type of person. I've had my hair cut somewhat shorter now as I've grown confident with a short look but like my hair somewhat long but not shoulder length long and I have on occasions used barbells to exercise and build up some muscle but I still don't get round to want to post pictures of myself on social media. It does feel better talking to people in person and I've spoken to women who smile at me and keep eye contact while talking to me indicating they possibly like me but I don't know that but I do feel better and it does leave me thinking I don't have to look like muscular looking stereotype to be attractive because women probably don't always care about looks and are maybe attracted to the personality inside.

You would have to share your profile to receive helpful feedback on that. I know that is a sensitive matter, however it is the case.

How to Be More Interesting (In 10 Simple Steps)
By Jessica Hagy, Forbes Contributor, 2011-11-30


1) Go Exploring: Explore ideas, places, and opinions. The inside of the echo chamber is where all the boring people hang out.

2) Share What You Discover: And be generous when you do. Not everybody went exploring with you. Let them live vicariously through your adventures.

3) Do Something. Anything: Dance. Talk. Build. Network. Play. Help. Create. It does not matter what you do, as long as you are doing it. Sitting around and complaining is not an acceptable form of 'something', in case you were wondering.

4) Embrace Your Innate Weirdness: No one is normal. Everyone has quirks and insights unique to themselves. Do not hide these things—they are what make you interesting.

5) Have a Cause: If you do not give a damn about anything, no one will give a damn about you.

6) Minimize the Swagger: Egos get in the way of ideas. If your arrogance is more obvious than your expertise, you are someone other people avoid.

7) Give It a Shot: Try it out. Play around with a new idea. Do something strange. If you never leave your comfort zone, you will not grow.

Hop Off the Bandwagon: If everyone else is doing it, you are already late to the party.  Do your own thing, and others will hop onto the spiffy wagon you built yourself. Besides, it is more fun to drive than it is to get pulled around.

9) Grow a Pair: Bravery is needed to have contrary opinions and to take unexpected paths. If you are not courageous, you are going to be hanging around the water cooler, talking about the guy who actually is.

10) Ignore the Scolds: Boring is safe, and you will be told to behave yourself. The scolds could have, would have, should have. But they did not. And they resent you for your adventures.


 SOURCE 

Online dating seems to vary massively from person to person. I had a fair amount of luck with online dating and have ended up on a decent number of dates from match and plenty of fish. Match is where I met my GF.

You'll need to message women like grinding for XP in a game. It'll be a numbers game but it's surprising how many women will reply if you put some effort into that first message. By effort, I don't mean an wall of text for a first message. Read their profile, look at their pics. Do the have a dog in their pics? Do they say they had a terrible time dating? Say their dog has massive puppy eyes.....ask them what dating horror stories they had when dating......they'll respond, messages like that stand out to the usual "Hi" and they'll be itching to reply. Just keep it short, make it a question and make it specific to them that stands a good chance of a reply, never generic copy and paste stuff. You'll find something specific to ask anyone.

Ignoring that, one of my openers was "Did I message you a few months ago?" Weirdly, it got a lot of messages back and started a lot of convos with that opener. Anything that tugs on their interest, let's them vent or even bamboozling them with complete nonsense often gets a warm, receptive reply.

I even said someone looks like Jessie J and she replied (she honestly did though). I asked another person what she actually looked like because she used filters on every pic.....she still replied warmly and said I was right.........

Photography advice

Angles are important and convey more information than you might think.

High angle (camera is looking down on you): this tends to convey approachablity, however it may come across as passive.

Eye level angle: Down to Earth. Meeting someone on their level. However, caution should be taken to make sure it doesn't come across like a mugshot.

Low angle (you are looking down at the camera): Assertive confidence and may be somewhat suggestive depending on how extreme of an angle it is. However, if this angle is done too extreme it'll come across as unintentionally comical.

Lighting and contrast

Avoid using flash if possible. If you have lighter features such as pale skin or fair hair, you'll want a darker background to create some contrast so you stand out. Likewise, a lighter background if you have darker features.

I'd recommend keeping the lighting even. Unless you want to make a dramatic looking photo to convey character.

Eye colour

Eye colour can be a significant part of portrait photography. You don't have to do this, but I like to have something in the background or clothing with a similar colour hue to the person's eyes. I find it draws attention to the colour and this can work with any eye colour. So, tree bark for brown eyes. Emerald for green. Ocean for blue and so on.

Things to avoid

- Pictures of holding fish. It's very overdone.

- Don't cover your face with your phone when taking the photo. Use a front facing camera if possible.

- Don't stare directly into the camera. It'll look like an intimidating mugshot if you do that.

- Make sure your hair is neat and presentable. If you have dandruff, get some dandruff shampoo. Eyebags can be edited out, but of course it's better to be well rested if possible.

I'll be back with thoughts on conveying personality later.