Feel bad for being attracted to women younger than me

Post Reply New Topic

When I was single, I never wanted to commit to a relationship with somebody significantly older. My mother was > 8 years older than my father. My grandmother was 2 years older than my grandfather. In both cases, cheating occurred. In the case of my grandmother, it was her little sister. I also saw some examples of coworkers who were married to significantly older women, and almost always there was some struggle to keep the marriage alive. This gave me a bad impression and I've always preferred to be with someone a bit younger. My wife is 4.5 years younger. I think this is a good age combination. Previously, I had been in a relationship with someone 6.5 years younger, and "generational" differences sometimes came up. I think 5 years is a good limit. My most successful previous relationship was with somebody 3.5 years younger. Actually, when I first met my wife, I thought her about 3 years younger than she was, and was honestly relieved she wasn't that young, as I would have expected issues due to age difference.

Although what works for me won't necessarily work for others. But we're all entitled to our preferences whether they work out for us or not.

I'm not going to hit on anyone under half my age, but if they want to cheer me up with mild flirting I'll enthusiastically consent.
While I'm in hospital and surrounded by pretty nurses I try not to stare and really enjoy being able to make them grin.
There's a lot of grumpy patients here but despite pain, sleep deprivation and insufficient drugs I am happy to have nurses to interact with. (Any gender... they're all fun to joke with)

I must be getting Methusalaic because they all look like teens to me, but holy crap ...they're all beautiful.

It seems to me that one of the important things you have to learn as you age is how to appreciate beauty without wanting to 'posses' it. This applies to objects as well as people. Perhaps some people are born with that ability. I wasn't.

When it comes to women, I don't expect to ever look at a beautiful young woman and not appreciate it. The shapes, the movement are all designed to please my eye and pique my interest. That's just animal stuff.

But I also accept that those women are not for me anymore and I have to be honest that my interest in them is mainly aesthetic, tactile and to some extent egotistical.

And that's why I'm suspicious of older men who do actively pursue young women.

Because I fail to understand how an older man and a significantly younger woman can be in a relationship of equals, which is the sort of relationship I want. Anything other than that feels grubby to me.

What would we talk about? What would we laugh about? Wouldn't it be weird not to have cultural touchstones? Wouldn't it be boring to have to explain what VHS was? Or who Roland Rat was? Do I have to pretend that everything she was experiencing for the first time as she grows older, I haven't already seen at least once before? Why wouldn't that be annoying for her?

I can't service a younger woman's cultural and intellectual needs any more than she can service mine.

Personally, as I've aged, I've found my tastes in women have aged too. When I was in my 20s, yes, I would have struggled to find women twice my age attractive. Now, I see many women my own age and older who are both physically and mentally attractive to me.

The younger ones only really appeal physically. And yes, on the rare occasion one shows an interest in me, or I can fool myself into thinking that at least, that's a little ego boost. And that's fine. But it's also a warning bell.

Tldr; no you don't have to feel guilty about it but you do have to recognise it for what it is and grow up.

I'm with the majority here, it's not particularly wrong to be attracted to women of that age. However, there are a lot of practical issues in doing so, especially if you haven't got the money to support a trophy wife. Some women, are going to be more open to it than others are, and it definitely can work, but it's not without it's set of issues.

Personally, I've found that as I've grown older, that the age of women that I'm attracted to has risen. If I weren't married I wouldn't automatically say no to a woman in her early 20s, but, I'm old enough to have children that age, and it means that the women that would even work for me at that age are much more conservative and more looking at having a family than what many people that age are interested in.

As with everything, as long as it's consenting adults, a lot of it just comes down to the degree to which two people are on the same wavelength in terms of what they're doing.

I am relieved and almost proud that I managed to avoid hitting on any of my nurses during my recent sojourn in hospital, despite the fact that I found the most effective pain relief for me wasn't chemical, but putting a smile on a nurses face.
The more I can light them up, the more it lights me up.
What made it easier is that they all (doctors, nurses, porters and cleaners) now appear to be teenagers to me.
Attracted to them? Yes ALL of them.
I would surrender body parts to see them naked.
The idea of a relationship with them?...none, apart from getting them to grin, which I am chuffed to say I can not only do, but do easily. Without delving into a fraction of my stories I can come across as the most interesting guy they're ever likely to meet.
What's bugging me now is... considering my ulterior pain relief motive, is my attempting to get them smiling overly manipulative?
Do I feel bad for being attracted to women younger than me? Hell no...I feel bad because I'm a broken old perve.