. I struggle to read and I used to love it. I can't because this annoying lady reads it silently on top of me reading it. She is maddening. I hate her tbh. She's been around since Grade 7. She makes me take Long detours, tells me everyone hates me etc. I can't get rid of her even with medication. She starts screaming at me in gibberish in dreams and I keep trying to apologize. She argues with positive things I try to come up with. She is my inner monologue. I've seen her once or twice. She makes me upset and insecure for the rest of the day. Sometimes I can't do things and when I talk about her I get light headed and shaky. My psychiatrist always wants to talk about her but she's a forbidden topic. I don't want to get lightheaded. It's embarrassing because I will talk to her and forget other people are around, I will forget things feel shaky etc.
19 Dec 2024, 2:51 pm
