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I hate holidays bc I can't interact- anyone have advice???

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3uhuu3
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Today, 1:13 am

I don't like having to go to parties w/ extended family and work parties.

yesterday I was at a work party at this arcade. I was about to start crying because I was so overwhelmed by the people talking and clustering around me, it was too much. And some of my coworkers im 'closer' to were talking to me and I could only push out some "yea" type answers. I feel so bad because they were smiling at me and I don't feel like im doing enough for the conversation to deserve smiles.. :tired: I feel like my social skills are going backward idk why if that makes any sense
I tried explaining my issue with it to my parents because they picked me up and my dad said "self fulfilled prophecy" because I said I knew this would happen.

today I was supposed to have my first appointment with a therapist because its a part of my plan to eventually get diagnosed b/c my parents don't think im autistic and just think I have a processing disorder or developed anxiety social because of quarantine :cry: they cancelled and I have to wait some more

tmrw I have to go see family which is also bad for the same reasons and because im just in a perpetual state of embarrassing myself and my immediate family :cry: :cry: :cry:

I don't want to be like this forever or at least I want to find more people like me but it feels like im ostracized in neurodivergent spaces too.. [s](or the people who im hanging with misdiagnosed themselves b/c they seem far too normal. but I think im just bitter)/s] how do I cope or how do I do something to make it better

I honestly think everyone pities me that's why they're nice


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Sweetleaf
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Today, 2:31 am

3uhuu3 wrote:
I don't like having to go to parties w/ extended family and work parties.

yesterday I was at a work party at this arcade. I was about to start crying because I was so overwhelmed by the people talking and clustering around me, it was too much. And some of my coworkers im 'closer' to were talking to me and I could only push out some "yea" type answers. I feel so bad because they were smiling at me and I don't feel like im doing enough for the conversation to deserve smiles.. :tired: I feel like my social skills are going backward idk why if that makes any sense
I tried explaining my issue with it to my parents because they picked me up and my dad said "self fulfilled prophecy" because I said I knew this would happen.

today I was supposed to have my first appointment with a therapist because its a part of my plan to eventually get diagnosed b/c my parents don't think im autistic and just think I have a processing disorder or developed anxiety social because of quarantine :cry: they cancelled and I have to wait some more

tmrw I have to go see family which is also bad for the same reasons and because im just in a perpetual state of embarrassing myself and my immediate family :cry: :cry: :cry:

I don't want to be like this forever or at least I want to find more people like me but it feels like im ostracized in neurodivergent spaces too.. [s](or the people who im hanging with misdiagnosed themselves b/c they seem far too normal. but I think im just bitter)/s] how do I cope or how do I do something to make it better

I honestly think everyone pities me that's why they're nice

For what its worth I'd probably avoid any job with work party requirements, because for me personally I don't want to get in a vulnerable state with coworkers, I don't trust them that much....like I drink but at home or if I am staying over at a family or friends house, not with coworkers after work. once my shift ends I don't want anything to do with work till the next shift. LIke work and personal life are things I prefer to keep separate.


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Today, 4:09 am

3uhuu3 wrote:
I don't like having to go to parties w/ extended family and work parties.

yesterday I was at a work party at this arcade. I was about to start crying because I was so overwhelmed by the people talking and clustering around me, it was too much. And some of my coworkers im 'closer' to were talking to me and I could only push out some "yea" type answers. I feel so bad because they were smiling at me and I don't feel like im doing enough for the conversation to deserve smiles.. :tired: I feel like my social skills are going backward idk why if that makes any sense
I tried explaining my issue with it to my parents because they picked me up and my dad said "self fulfilled prophecy" because I said I knew this would happen.

today I was supposed to have my first appointment with a therapist because its a part of my plan to eventually get diagnosed b/c my parents don't think im autistic and just think I have a processing disorder or developed anxiety social because of quarantine :cry: they cancelled and I have to wait some more

tmrw I have to go see family which is also bad for the same reasons and because im just in a perpetual state of embarrassing myself and my immediate family :cry: :cry: :cry:

I don't want to be like this forever or at least I want to find more people like me but it feels like im ostracized in neurodivergent spaces too.. [s](or the people who im hanging with misdiagnosed themselves b/c they seem far too normal. but I think im just bitter)/s] how do I cope or how do I do something to make it better

I honestly think everyone pities me that's why they're nice


I only attend work parties anymore, all the people in my life are either dead or moved away. So bear in mind any discomfort felt now when young is temporary even in the worst case scenario.

Work parties get a lot easier the longer you work at a place. Ten years in and I'm copacetic at work parties. It is because I see the people every day for ten years.

In my opinion, the only reason you are having difficulty is because you are in a situation with NEW people. You don't have the same situation with parents because you are used to them.

So, you just bear in mind there is difficulty around NEW people, until such time you get used to them, and then the problems diminish until they are gone.

That is just part and parcel of autism, distrust and discomfort surrounding new stimuli. The longer you experience such things the more you get used to it.


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