Did anyone "lose abilities" after trauma. Feeling like it :(

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I met one autistic woman once,
she was sort of like a "crazy person", talking to
the cafe store owner, but I got to talking and she was just being autistic.
SHe told me she had eidetic memory until she was abused by her parents
and then she was kind of "broken".

In my case I feel like my functioning was at it's best in an environment of
stability and trust, but now I realise that that was actually never real,
and I have been progressively traumatized by a few events,
and now I am just trying to pick up the pieces again.

I think that as a group, we have tremendous capability, but
this is very sensitive to stable environment over a long period of time.

I think that humanity settle for such a low bar.
We as people could be so much more "powerful".

Major trauma made me more shy and withdrawn which impacted my social skills further since I get less practice engaging with people. I need to gently push myself out of my comfort zone. I can manage small talk, but it’s hard for me to go much further than that with people I’m not already close to and comfortable with.

I think it’s often going to be more challenging for anyone with PTSD (or any other significant mental health issue for that matter). Anxiety, poor sleep, flashbacks or whatever else can all make socializing more difficult than it would be for someone who feels relaxed, rested, and present in the moment. Sometimes people with trauma overshare, too, which can make others uncomfortable. I don’t do that offline, but it’s not uncommon, perhaps especially for people who are also autistic.

Very much lost abilities going through severe burnouts, and some abilities I have not had back yet since the last one in 2019.


But also past trauma can lose abilities. Yes. But for me, burnout came originally through trauma or workplace abuse. (Not the first burnout, but several after... and the last few hardest hitting came after memories of the past traumas when I returned to work a few times in a different store of the same company. They treated me really well in that store, but the memories hit me from the other store in the past. Would usually be without an income for a year or two to recover before trying to work again... But it all came to a head in 2019 when I hit the biggest burnout I had hit, where I forgot how to walk, and had to teach myself again there and then, as I also at that moment lost th ability to shout or talk to get help... The experience frightened me into getting help from the autism team (I had not been assessed at that point, but had been on their list to be assessed around six months earlier about late April 2019 or just after, and I was assessed and diagnosed nearly a year ago), as they happened to have an open day the day after I finished work so I went... I was in a right mess!)

But yes. Trauma can 100% cause one to lose abilities such as balance, strength (I used to have very strong hands and fingers due to years and years of fitting bicycle tyres. When hitting burnout, I kept dropping things as I could not grip them and I had to use two hands to hold a cup etc. If my Mum wasn't with me (We kinda work as a team as I help her and she helps me!), if I wanted to open a packet of crisps or a chocolate bar, I would need to carry scisors which is technically not lawful unless their blades are tiny, but I have large hands so can't hope to use tiny scissors! But if I was on my own in public, I would have to bring scissors as how can I open packets when my hands are not able to do it? It is not the muscles themselves, but the brain telling the muscles how to add strength to them that went under burnout. My legs do this if anxiety hits. I find driving relaxes me as I zone in and shut off my brain and am in driving mode! So I can be really nervous about going somewhere, drive there fine, but then, once I park the car, I can't get up out of the seat, let alone try and walk! I can be stuck there for half an hour! If I can get up and walk, I can walk somewhere else to divert attention from what was causing anxiety, and "Walk out of it", but this does not always happen like that, as often I am stuck and have to wait before it will ease so I can get out the car. No good taking a walking stick as can't grasp things when I feel like that, so can't hold car door to try and lift myself up... Has to ease before I can get up. No way could I risk an electric car, as if the thing goes on fire I am stuck!
Anyway!
Shutdowns (Partial) also make me have less strength and shut off my balance or/and my ability to automatically judge distances such as gaps. If driving, I have to manually over ride this by driving all the way on my left (We drive on the left and I drive a small narrow car) and I then visually watch the left side of the car to check I am not going to hit anything left. I will have a gap of at least 4+ feet on the right to ensure I won't collide on that side. Why I bought a small car! Much easier to drive if this happens).
I never do have a full shutdown while driving, as I relax while driving, so driving actually pulls me out of shutdowns! Is the relaxing and zoning in on the driving. If I stop for a good while, then I then zone back into my usual thoughts which then could cause a shutdown if that makes sense? So I have driven very long routes to avoid a traffic jam where the traffic jammed up would be home hours before I did! BUT this avoids me risking being the next traffic jam! (Never happened, but once ot twice came close in the past so I try and avoid duel carriageways or motorways as they act as one way systems which can jam where I can't then turn the car round to drive. On ordinary roads, I can turn car round if jam is lengthy, and drive back for a long way round. I have been on 100 mile loops round which took a few extra hours to do to avoid a short jam!)
Now a full shutdown comes if I am in a situation where I can't remove myself from the shutdown trigger (E.g. hospital smells), or/and, I can't use preventative measures such as driving. Now there is a point if a partial shutdown has gone too far that I don't even try to risk driving out of it, as there is a tipping point I can feel inside of me, when I know a full one is coming regardless, and I think "Here we go again!" and I look to go somewhere quiet on my own (It needs to be close to where I am such as less than 100 yards at most, or I will not likely get there before I will hit the floor, like it or not! And it often needs me to go outdoors to somewhere out the sun, and lie down on the floor. If I don't lie on the floor in a full shutdown, I start to fall on the floor, and I can be stuck at a painful awkward angle until I recover. In a full shutdown almost everything turns off. My ability to move my limbs. My ability to see. I can't hear anything except loud tinitus, so I can't externally hear (Or see) for the short time it hits me fully! I am like a jelly on the floor unable to move! My sight and external hearing start to recover BUT if someone talks I can't often make sense of speech at first... BUT it takes at least 5-15 minutes (More like 25-30minutes if I have had repeat shutdowns) before I can try to sit up and then walk. If anyone tries to get me to talk to them before I have recovered, (Or if I am at an awkward angle, so need to move myself (Or if my hand is in the way where people are stepping on me as some have done in the past such as a lady hospital consultant manager who stepped on my fingers with her stiletto who did it on purpose and walked off with no concern I had collapsed on the floor in a corridor* (NHS in Llanelli)), I will end up in another repeat shutdown which is absolutely exhausting!)
*"The only real functions that doesn't cut off in a full out shutdown or it may do in the total depth of a shutdown for a very short time are my bodies feelings, so I can feel people walk past even without sight or hearing, as I feel the air move as they walk past, or the ground move, as feeling is very much amplified, so when people step on me, the pain is magnified, BUT I am totally unable to move or make a sound etc. I can't do anything! Not a thing! And am in tremendous pain and distress! So one can imagine what it felt like when being stepped on by that lady!
Now usually people try and force me to recover by asking me questions. I can force myself to give a brief reply but I immediately get a repeat shutdown if I reply. But generally, I really am stuck there on the floor for ages if I shut down, and the worst case is, if I am stuck in a "Smell trigger zone", as it means recover, try and get out... Shutdown. Recover.. Try and get out... Shutdown! So certain places like some shops or hospitals that have trigger smells I try to avoid unless I have no choice.

And when I have had repeated shutdowns, I am shaky and need sugary food or something like a pasty or I will find recovery hard to pull out of, as that shaky stage means I have to head home, and lie in bed for the whole day and wait until the next day to begin before I am right.
I have been tested for diabetes and so many other things which always came up clear, as I didn't find out they were shutdowns until around 2019 when I joined this site and asked questions... Someone gave a link to psychologist writings which described me perfectly! I thought I had written it and I am no psycologist! Shutdowns come in different forms from just mental to totally physical and mental (I noticed the physical more so it was an "Urika" moment to realize they were mental. Dr's had said it was a mystery allergy. I had been tracing mystery allergy for 25-30 years begging doctors for an allergy test since I was a teenager. I had a basic 6 point allergy test in my late 40's after changing doctors. It was then I realized it was something else.
Long process of many co-incidences and my determination and the new tool called "The Internet" and hours and hours and hours on there.... I had so many obvious clues pointing to autism. Yet though my I.Q. is above average, how did I miss it?

Forest from the Trees eyndrome ....In order to grow, people eventually develop an ego, to somei degree.
And so, you do not judge yourself by any other standarod or metric other than your own. And in that state of growing , people. Do not gusge differences welll....between others,level of smart . because your judgement for assessing others is only based on your own ..In early periods of growth, i think.....just a thought offering ..

I think so, I also have PTSD like person said before.
I can have difficulty with stuff a lot more after bad meltdowns as well like not talking for a couple of weeks and more issues with body signals

Since my childhood I was kind of blocked, unable to recognize and express my needs and emotions. It took me years to gain this ability. It also took me years of analyses, I have a very good memory, I often remember the chemistry of the feeling that I couldn’t identify at that time I had it. When I was 23, I experienced horrible trauma (violence, abuse) from someone I trusted, lasting 3 years. After that, unfortunately I don’t feel anything. It’s not only that I’m blocked and can’t recognize my feelings. I’m just like a stone. Others think that I’m such a strong person. No, I’m emotionally numb, kind of disabled and deeply traumatised. Only recently I found a therapist who understands me and I’m comfortable talking about these things.

Yes. I know emotional numbness. For me it came during a few years of my life where almost everyone around me of who I knew died. I was going to funeral after funeral. 43 funerals in a few years. I felt numb. I could not reach my emotions. Could not get them out!

Could not feel happy. Could not feel sad. Emotionally numb!

The mind protects itself.