Feeling lonely and hopeless

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I am in my late 50s and am extremely tired of constantly trying to make situations work. This is everything from work to friendships and other relationships. I am a Veterinarian but have had a very difficult time during my entire career because I don't relate to people/clients the way other people do. This has caused me to lose many jobs and to be miserable at jobs that I do keep. I have looked at different work, but I would never be able to earn as much as I do as a Vet, and there really isn't anything else I'd want to do other than animal rescue work, but there aren't many opportunities for that. I only have casual acquaintances, nobody I can really talk to. My family does care about me, but they all have their own issues they're dealing with and don't understand how bad things are for me. They also wouldn't have any idea how to help me. I feel so alone. The problem is that I believe that this world can't provide what I need to be happy. That does cause me to have suicidal feelings at times.
I have seen many different therapists and have taken many different medications but all to no avail. Sometimes I actually get worse when I try to get help.
I feel like I am a good person who tries to make a difference in this world but that other people judge me and even take advantage of me because of my aspergers. I'm not sure there is any way to be happy in this world.
Does anybody else feel the same way? If so, how do you deal with that?

I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. I relate to constantly trying to make situations work. I cope by avoiding people when I can. I go out in the world like a civilian entering a war torn city who is trying to survive. I do my best. Maybe I have come to accept my fate. I try to unwind the stress. I guess I try to focus on anything that can cause me to relax and any bright spots in my life. I have an email friend who helps me with emotional support. Wrong Planet helps me feel connected to people. I have read veterinarians have more stress than most other people. That may cause you despair.

Thank you for your reply. It does help.

Sharing a song I wrote. Perhaps you will find comfort in the music:

Do you qualify for disability assistance? I had issues at some jobs because I didn't fit in.
Getting disability assistance was a blessing and allowed me to live an independent life with no drama.

Do you have a goal? Having something to look forward to can change your perspectives.

That is a beautiful song. Thank you for sharing it. I'm not sure I'd qualify for a disability but I guess I could look in to it.
I would like to do veterinary work, but also want to do animal rescues. Doing animal rescue doesn't pay much at all and the jobs are "as needed". I also want to limit my interaction with the public and only work with a dedicated group of people who are trying to help animals. I have had enough of nasty clients and of being pushed to see more patients than I am comfortable seeing.

There a couple of social currents operating against you that do not have anything specifically to do with Aspergers.

1. The decimation of the family. It is difficult to imagine family life as it was throughout the entire world up until 100 years ago. There was breadth (siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles) as well as depth children, parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents. In addition to the richness of this life, people usually remained their entire lives where they were born. One result of this was that you grew up with everyone knowing you intimately as well as you knowing everyone else. Marriages were not so much arranged, but the slow development as teens selected those they knew intimately. There was little trying to get to know a stranger.

2. The immersion we all have in media contributes to how we see the world. There are some teenage boys who set a trajectory in life for money and fast cars only to discover real life is different than in the Bond movies. Similarly women can find that they are not the object of continual desire regardless of how they behave or what they do.

As a result we have an emergent culture of casual fornication summed up in the Country song, "Third rate Romance".

As far as work goes, you may not find a job with a lot of exposure to the public very satisfying. However, you might be able to land a job doing clinical or lab work. You might try a temp agency that specializes in that field and see if you can get your foot in the door of a work environment that would be more enjoyable.

As far as relationships go, if you are seeking something deeper than casual fornication, you may have to actively explore social environments such as volunteer work, book, clubs, or even churches. People in their 20s often make a visual display of themselves. However, when looking for something deeper, one has to use different "bait". One can float out a clever comment in a group and attract the attention of others One can also demonstrate kindness and even simple interest by asking others about themselves showing real interest.

Our society is damaged and getting worse, however, it is still possible to navigate through troubled waters to find the few others that are also trying to rise above.